iPhone … Get the fuck over it, people.
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No, I'm not talking to iPhone fans. I'm talking to all the people who are apparently suffering some kind of Apple-phobia or sour grapes or some bizarre form of electronic racism, or something.
There's a clip up on YouTube, showing David Lynch saying that if you watch a movie on your phone, you're not truly experiencing the movie … well, duh. I'm not going to slam on Mr. Lynch for stating the bleeding obvious. I am going to slam on people linking to (and commenting on) the video as though it somehow "proves" the iPhone is a worthless trinket.
If you, even for a fucking moment, thought that watching a movie on a screen that fits in the palm of your hand was going to be a mind-blowing theater-going experience, I shudder to hazard a guess at your general mental capacity. The people who own an iPhone (or an iPod Touch), who enjoy and appreciate their video capabilities for what they are (ultra-portable, wireless and convenient), have hardly been taken for a ride … because nobody with half a brain cell still kicking around in their heads is going to expect a freaking palm-top video player to deliver a full cinematic experience (and anyone who DID expect that DESERVES to be taken for at least $400).
"It's not a good way to truly experience a movie" is not a valid critique of the iPhone as a product. So quit linking to it, commenting on it, and cheering mindlessly as though it was. Sorry. That's like saying that espadrilles are a failure as shoes, because you can't climb Mt. Everest whilst wearing them. That's not what espadrilles were designed for, therefore that's not what they're good for. And if you found someone to take you up Everest in a pair of espadrilles, you deserve to lose your feet. However, if you want to stroll through a sunny street market, or hang out in generally balmy climates, they'd work quite nicely. And if you want to show a YouTube clip to a friend at lunch, or watch some video while sitting on the bus on your way to work, an iPhone seems like it'd fit the bill rather nicely.
A fucking mobile phone is not going to deliver THX sound. A palm-sized screen is not going to deliver the full impact of bleeding-edge special effects. Watching a movie on your iPhone may even make it a wee bit difficult to fully appreciate an actor's facial expressions. However, theater-quality movie viewing is not what a phone, no matter how high-tech, is designed to do in the first place. And it's hardly a crushing indictment of the iPhone's shortcomings as a multi-purpose mobile device to point such things out.
Is it absurd to pay $400 for a mobile phone? Perhaps, yes. But that is hardly the most egregiously overpriced, unnecessary luxury item on today's consumer market, and really, if you wanted to attack narcissistic consumer culture, you could find better, easier targets. Really now.
I wonder what Mr. Lynch has to say about minivans with built-in DVD entertainment systems …
[Disclaimer: While the author does own Apple computers, she does not now, nor has she ever, owned an iPhone, or iPod of any flavor. OK, I received an iPhone as a gift recently, and I couldn't say no. But I haven't bothered watching any movies on it. ;-) ]
What? I can't get Dolby 5.1 and 1080p on my iphone?!?!?! CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT TIME.
15th January 2008 at 4:56 am | permalink |I didn't know you could use the iPhone to make phone calls o.O
15th January 2008 at 6:29 am | permalink |How 90's …
Oh dear – you still don't get it do you :)
People are merely reacting to the constant insane twittering of iPhone users.
No mad twittering, no reaction.
If nobody heaped inappropriate praise on what is simply a decent enough phone, then nobody would need to challenge them.
There is something that 'needs to be got over' though – its the iPhone itself – its just a phone with a few add ons – not the second coming FFS.
Its quite understandable that some people react when another 'bright eyed and bushy tailed' iPhone user starts ranting on again. It really is a touch like listening to a born again religious nutcase sometimes.
For the record, if you watch the video clip again, there is no mention of iPhone whatsoever by David Lynch – somebody titled it that way to wind iPhone users up simply because the 'movies' thing is one the many thng they have been 'twittering about'.
15th January 2008 at 7:35 am | permalink |Typical conversation between two Internet freaks, one PC user, one a Mac fan
Mac – I see there's another major natural disaster in SE Asia, millions likely to die
PC – Yeah, its pretty awful isnt it
Mac – They finally got that pedo that tortured those kids to death then
PC – Yeah, the bastard
Mac – I just got an iPhone
PC – YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND THEY ARE ABSOLUTE CRAP DESIGNED FOR PINK POSEURS WITH RUBBISH TECHNOLOGY MY OLD NOKIA DOES FAR MORE THAN THAT PIECE OF SHIT CAN DO AND THE PRICE IS FUCKING ASTRONOMICAL HOW CAN ANY FOOL JUSTIFY THE EXPENSE FOR A SECOND RATE IPOD WITH A SHIT PHONE AND EVEN WORSE FUCKING CAMERA YOU MUST BE LOSING THE FUCKING PLOT YOU STUPID FUCKING TOSSPOT WASTING GOOD MONEY ON A BULLSHIT PRODUCT THAT etc etc
15th January 2008 at 8:37 am | permalink |This is my first visit, via God is Dead.
I'll be stopping by again because I admire your zeal and mastery of the language.
15th January 2008 at 12:30 pm | permalink |@larrry: Indeed. AND WHY DOESN'T THE FUCKING THING MAKE MY TOAST IN THE MORNING TOO?!!?!?!@
@phil: You could just log into skype and talk to people that way, if you prefer. ;-)
@4eyes: Re: your last paragraph: That's one reason I specifically said I wasn't going to slam on Mr. Lynch … I was going to slam on the people who watched the video and then said things like, "Well, thats one of its 'unique selling points' sunk," as though he'd somehow proven some fatal point about the iPhone in particular. ;-)
@peter: LOL!
@shrimplate: Why thank you. :-) That is indeed a compliment, considering where you wandered over from.
15th January 2008 at 4:14 pm | permalink |"as though he'd somehow proven some fatal point about the iPhone in particular"
Your words, old girl, not mine.
My point (made elsewhere) was that the 'unique selling point', bought into by the twittering fashionistas was not as valuable as they seemed to think (or as good as the claims made by Apple), so perhaps it was time for them to stop going on about it.
I still think it is a decent phone – no ammount of gushing praise from simpering floppy haired art school graduate iPhone owners can offend me enough to change that view. On the other hand, I certainly wouldn't want anyone to associate me with the iPhone devotees whose insecurities about keeping up with fashion require them to buy anything that starts with a small 'i' regardless of their need, or its functionality.
15th January 2008 at 5:04 pm | permalink |Somehow, I don't think that's ever going to be a problem for you … ;-)
16th January 2008 at 4:40 pm | permalink |I never really thought twice about iPhones. I figured, it's a phone with a camera and some stuff. Yay.
Then I touched one. Wicked. And the movies look pretty fucking great for a phone.
And David Lynch movies can only be appreciated fully in a crystal ball anyway so I don't get it.
And people who hate Apple products are just afraid that the people who love Apple products really *are* hip to some groovy wavelength they can't perceive.
I'm not saying such a wavelength exists. I'm saying, the iPhone is sickeningly slick and I suddenly really want one, and I'm saying people who hate Apple are scaredy-cats. Fucking cunts.
18th January 2008 at 7:02 am | permalink |[...] * Interweb Gold: Thanks to Graywolf for pointing out this golden palace of ranting: iPhone Movies Rule It. [...]
1st February 2008 at 8:37 am | trackback from Friday Tea Time - 2/1/08There are nicer phones available for the same price. There are phones that are just as good for less. Not everybody is going to want to/know how to do their research, that's how iPhones can continue to exist. I think that should be all there is to say if you're a reasonable person and not OMG ANTI-IPHONE, FUCK YOU, MACFAG.
Of course, if your thing is buying overpriced phones then I'm cool with that. They do look nice at least.
23rd February 2008 at 1:09 am | permalink |@james bond: Well, this post wouldn't exist if everyone were as reasonable as you. :-)
23rd February 2008 at 2:52 am | permalink |Its an iPHONE not an iTheatre…
On the topic of all its awesome features… check this video out: http://youtube.com/watch?v=O6RRRadHeI0
(I dont remember where I saw the english one… this one is Spanish… but you will get the idea…)
25th February 2008 at 10:44 pm | permalink |Gah, this is like men with PS3's claiming you're a fag for owning a Wii.
When did we start measuring penis size by electronics?
It's a phone… The coolest thing about my iPod touch? I can feed my internet addiction all day long by leeching off of other people's wi-fi. Now I can actually write blogs on my palm sized music player and that makes me a huge fucking dork.
9th April 2008 at 8:38 pm | permalink |@hellationships: "Now I can actually write blogs on my palm sized music player and that makes me a huge fucking dork."
Dork pride! *raises fist in solidarity*
9th April 2008 at 8:54 pm | permalink |@hellationships: "When did we start measuring penis size by electronics?"
Well I never have done, not sure about the other posters, so it might just be you.
"I can feed my internet addiction all day long by leeching off of other people's wi-fi."
I have had a phone for nearly two years that let me do that, never felt like bragging about it.
"..that makes me a huge fucking dork."
Of course not, I suspect you already were one.
Its just a phone, not a penis extenstion.
Get over it.
10th April 2008 at 5:27 am | permalink |@4eyes: "Its just a phone, not a penis extenstion.
Get over it."
That's what she said, no? I didn't see anyone bragging … *tsk*tsk* ;-)
10th April 2008 at 3:09 pm | permalink |@alphabitch:
If she is saying the same thing as I am, then it is worded somewhat vaguely.
My point: Why do iPhone (and iPod Touch for that matter) users keep going on about it so much?
To be fair, the iPhone user that I talk to most has now pretty much realised the short comings and mostly just talks about the things he wishes it could do, but he is an exception.
11th April 2008 at 2:56 am | permalink |@4eyes: Who's going on about it all the time? (Besides Peter, granted. ;-)
I have yet to meet an iPhone/Touch owner who waxes rhapsodic about it all the time. Except for the nearly unavoidable "random stranger sees it in their hand, and has to come over and ask about it" phenomenon. But that would really be the non-owner's hang up, wouldn't it?
11th April 2008 at 4:36 pm | permalink |@alphabitch
"I have yet to meet an iPhone/Touch owner who waxes rhapsodic about it all the time."
Aww come on, you know at least 3 of them (including Peter) – and the fact you don't know more is probably 'cos you live in the wilderness and never go in the sort of trendy drinking holes frequented by floppy haired media types that emphasise style over content.
I realise the trap I am walking into with my next statement, but…
You really should get out more.
12th April 2008 at 6:36 am | permalink |;)
@4eyes: Or maybe your standard of "waxing rhapsodic" has a much lower threshold than mine. ;-)
And I do get out. I just tend to go further towards the middle of nowhere when I do. hehe
12th April 2008 at 4:02 pm | permalink |@alphabitch
"Or maybe your standard of "waxing rhapsodic" has a much lower threshold than mine. ;-)"
Well I do have a low tolerance for easily impressed people, but on the other hand you clearly haven't met our mutual friends recently.
The last time we had to endure the gushing, one of our other acquaintances was close to grabbing one and administering it as an iSuppository.
I think the only thing that stopped him was the worry that we might then have to listen to the Apple-o-phile go on about how its smooth lines made it so much less painful than other phones.
12th April 2008 at 9:01 pm | permalink |@4eyes: It has been about 6 months … I know personally I don't talk about my phone unless someone asks about it. And neither do any of the other iPhone owners I've met around here.
Then again, if I were hanging around you, I might feel compelled to play it up a bit, just for irritation's sake. ;-) I suspect our other friends may do the same. heh
13th April 2008 at 3:57 am | permalink |@alphabitch
"any of the other iPhone owners I've met around here."
Bears? Elk? Come on – like you live in iPhone city?
Wine bars, 'arty' clubs etc is where you may have heard it, if you dared visit.
You are are not a typical iPhone user, nor is your location a typical iPhone region.
… and the event I referred to in my previous post was 'overheard' from the opposite end of a table, not directed at me, so perhaps your desire to provoke me is not typical either (bit of a common theme this confusing 'you' with the 'whole world')
I really feel that this whole thread confuses 'cause' and 'effect'. Your original complaint about criticism of the iPhone was actually criticim of a reaction. No unquestioning praise of a phone = no criticism of the eejits doing the praise = no opportunity for your post.
In all honesty, I have to acknowledge that during the time this post/thread has been running, some of the worst culprits have changed their tune slightly, as they have become more aware of what is missing and what is impractical.
I hope that the new iPhone will fix most of these issues, and I may even buy one if it does.
Want to know what I will do then?
I will use it.
Want to know what I will NOT do then?
Confuse it with anything that will make me 'cool', increase my penis size, impress women ('more', obv.) and most off all 'witter on' about how cool it is to all and sundry.
Of course, it won't make my hair (re-)grow long and floppy, nor will it improve my chances of getting a job in 'Media', 'the Arts', 'Graphic Design' or as a hair dresser – that is only the 'early adopter' profile for this brand.
13th April 2008 at 6:30 am | permalink |@4eyes: I believe I phrased the "for irritation's sake" as a possibility, not a fact … and I don't see how I'm supposed to make any global assertions about iPhone owners as a homogenous group, for two reasons: I strongly suspect they're not a homogenous group, and I haven't met all of them. So, naturally, I tend to write from my own point of view, based on my own experiences. Hardly confusing myself with anyone else, much less the whole world.
13th April 2008 at 10:10 pm | permalink |"I believe I phrased the "for irritation's sake" as a possibility, not a fact"
duh? So I am not allowed to help you out with clarifying this then. If you don't want debate on the issue probably best not mentioning it, I'd say.
It seems that your position AND your argument against my position, both depend on the same logic.
So, to take your own words and paraphrase them a little – I am not aiming my comments at the iPhone users that are sensible, but those that seem to confuse them with the second coming and go 'all evangelical' on anyone not owning one.
You seem to be suggesting that this second group don't exist, which is contrary to my direct experience.
The logic problem here is that you can't prove something with a negative – I have never seen an Elk, but that doesn't mean they don't exist. If you tell me you have seen one, then fine, I will take it at face value until I have the time, money and inclination to investigate myself.
I certainly wouldn't use the fact that I hadn't seen one to try and convince others that they are imaginary.
Of course, this post/thread has been going on for some time now, and things change a little – for example, at the start you didn't own an iPhone, now you do (hope it wasn't as a result of listening to the wrong people). Also, the evangelical iPhone chorus has died down a little as familiarity has settled in and the initial new-toy excitement has calmed down. Even so, I still hear (and sometimes read) latecomers to the bandwagon singing hymns of praise to the false messiah.
14th April 2008 at 2:24 am | permalink |@hellationships: "When did we start measuring penis size by electronics?"
Mine goes all the way to the rewind button on my tv remote.
16th July 2008 at 10:27 pm | permalink |"…and I don't see how I'm supposed to make any global assertions about iPhone owners as a homogenous group, for two reasons: I strongly suspect they're -not- a homogenous group…"
iPhone users -ARE- a homogenous group because their mobile device of choice is itself homogenous.
9th October 2008 at 4:29 pm | permalink |If millions of people wore the same hat it doesn't necessarily mean they're similar in every way but there is still an element of homogeneity in the equation because of their "choice", or lack of rather, of headwear.
Apple profits from free market fundamentalism which should cultivate choice but all it offers its consumers is a single gadget with a single design and, frankly, this amounts to socialised mediocrity and conformity by any definition but particulary when its zealous supporters frequently suggest that everyone get one despite the fact the sensible amongst us appreciate our capacity to choose.
Some of us would rather not look like foolish adolescents who exhibit a taste for the exact same fads and fashions in high numbers.
Some of us are capable of a function called freedom of choice which is a function neither the iPhone or, I suspect, a majority of iPhone users are capable of.
Sorry but alphabitch is right. I took out my ipod touch in class to look up something my group was working on and we had a 5 minute "OMG IS THAT AN IPHONE. OMG WTF IS AN IPOD TOUCH. THAT'S SO COOL" conversation.
It's not us apple fanboys getting extra excited about it. Unless their are new updates for them and well the iphone applications are great!
@4EYES Maybe you just meet obnoxious people in your day to day life, but I live in big cities for the most part it's the non iphone customers who get SO excited about it. I've never seen an iphone user act as obnoxious as the people you described. Perhaps you just invite less annoying people to your dinner parties.
10th October 2008 at 5:21 am | permalink |@M.: See, while certainly the whole "what you own defines who you are" mentality the driving force behind ridiculous fashion trends, using that same reasoning as an argument to stereotype entire groups of people based on one product they happen to own, while declaring your own elevation above such superficiality is an almost unbelievably ironic level of hypocrisy.
@Hellationships: "…we had a 5 minute "OMG IS THAT AN IPHONE. OMG WTF IS AN IPOD TOUCH. THAT'S SO COOL" conversation."
10th October 2008 at 5:24 am | permalink |Exactly. Fucking hell, I pull out my damn phone to do something, and if anyone nearby hasn't seen and touched one in person before, they act as though I'm holding the fucking Hope diamond or something.
@M
You're making zero sense. So if I choose an ipod or iphone, then I'm being part of the herd. But if you don't that makes you capable of "choosing"? That's how I used to talk when I was 13 and so convinced that they world didn't understand me for being punk rock. All those people who dressed the "same" just weren't as unique as me. Know what happened? I grew up.
The majority of people in the world do not have an iPhone. The majority of american's do not have an iphone. You're using the concept of homogeneity to an extreme, where it just doesn't fit. Homogeneity is about WAY more than one common element. If anything, iphone speaks about an ascribed status because of how expensive they are.
And who are you to decide why someone else is BUYING something? I make my money and I do what I want with it. Just because something is popular doesn't make it any less worthwhile. In actuality, if you were a marketer. You'd look into that popular item and see why it's so popular.
10th October 2008 at 5:32 am | permalink |Hellationships:
Comparing somebody who critiques the social and cultural impacts of commodities with a 15-year-old who embraces an adolescent difference-for-difference-sake ideology is about as stupid as it gets really.
The framework for my criticisms are labour and market theories not the playground.
Might I suggest that instead of dismissing my points with little more than meaningless rhetoric and inaccurate and immature assertions about my maturity that you go and engage with studies into the discourse of marketing.
Why is the iPhone so f—— popular despite its shortcomings?
20th October 2008 at 5:54 pm | permalink |We are talking about something that was said to have certain features "for the first time" which was a lie in almost any market.
Surveys indicate that considerable numbers of its consumers are users of smartphones for the first time.
You do the math.
You are, of course, entitled to your opinion about the device as much as anyone. Peace.