fucking women's clothing …

So, I bought these shirts. They're really nice, fitted, button-up women's shirts from Hawes & Curtis, London. They even need cufflinks, which is cool as hell … But it's a damn good thing they're made of slightly stretchy material, because every time I move my arms forward or back too far, I'm reminded that women are not "supposed" to have broad shoulders.

High-end men's shirts? You generally have neck size, sleeve length, cut (fitted, or not) & size (chest/shoulder size) … most men would never *need* a tailor for their shirts. Women? You get a size, and maybe a choice of cut. Sleeve length? Nope … unless you're buying from either a tall or petite store. Collar size? Fuck no. Shoulder width? Women don't have shoulders, silly! And why in the fuck don't women's clothes have a chest size variable?!

So, basically, I get stuck wearing either a button-up shirt that fits my shoulders, arm length & chest, and I'm fucking swimming in it everywhere else (neck, lower torso & arm circumference), or I get a shirt like this … which fits perfectly, as long as I'm standing straight, arms at my side, and not breathing too deeply.

Don't get me started on women's jeans and dress slacks … christ on a fucking pogo stick.

(…and now that I think about it, if people can make stylish maternity clothes, designed to fit an absurdly shaped body for a very short amount of time, it seems even more ridiculous that almost nobody seems to make women's clothes to fit anatomical variations that last one's entire life …)

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    Written by alphabitch. Posted on Tuesday, May 27th, 2008, at 4:22 pm.
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    29 Responses to “fucking women's clothing …”

    1. Aimee said:

      Haha! Oh my god I know how you feel. I'm 5'0" to begin with…and my clothing will fit in one part of my body…but no where else. Wtf?!!?! Grrrr, I say we all go back to when we walked around naked, thank you very much.

    2. Elie said:

      My wife has similar complaints. It's gotten so that she buys her shirts and pants in the men's department now (or takes mine).

      Funny, I remember the first time we went clothes shopping together back when we were dating, I waited an hour for her to find a single dress outfit, and I found my dress clothes in 5 minutes. All she said was, "you make me sick."

    3. Eruvadhril said:

      I'm so glad my mum can sew. It's so rare to find anything that fits in this day and age anyway, so when I find a shirt that fits my chest properly, it's good to know Mum will be able to fix it so the hem's not down to my knees.

    4. Becky said:

      Oh god I know. I have a huge chest and it's such a problem trying to find shirts that I've all but given up. I'm gathering fabric and patterns to start making my own custom fit shirts (with the help of my dear mother) because it really seems like the only women who can shop in stores these days are rectangular and very flat (I wouldn't go so far as to say real women have curves, but those of us who are oddly shaped are out there buying clothes too dammit). My options are either go with a shirt that I can't get over my bust and have a fitted waist (you know, if I could get it down to my waist) or have a shirt that fits over my bust and looks like a tent everywhere else.

    5. Dots said:

      So true. So so so so true. I takes for-fucking-ever to find clothes that fit well.

      Some days, if it weren't for A-line skirts and dresses, I would go on a rampage in the clothing stores.

      When I become the Queen of Fucking Everything, I will see that designers make clothes for real women. I will appoint you my dress shirt adviser.

    6. akshelby said:

      I totally hate almost all women's clothing. I hate women's jeans. Except, women's Lucky Jeans tend to be comfortable. But their men's jeans are even more comfortable. I don't mind that women's shirts accentuate my breasts (I like that) but I do mind that they also accentuate that I am not totally smooth around the waist and actually have a little extra. So, yeah, men's clothing is a heck of a lot more comfortable.

    7. Ian said:

      And you think that men get it any better – I can't find shirts that fit everywhere either – unless I'm prepared to go somewhere that will do them made to measure. Even eshopone.com will only do my shirt size by request

    8. alphabitch said:

      @the women: I ought to learn how to sew better … *sigh*

      @Elie: I've been buying mostly men's jeans for years. :-)

      @Ian: Unusually tall or short people are screwed whether they're men or women … this is true. But yes, I completely believe that men closer to average height get it MUCH better than women of any height, if for no other reason than the fact that there are more measurement variables for mens shirts and trousers than there are for women.

    9. Ian said:

      if for no other reason than the fact that there are more measurement variables for mens shirts and trousers than there are for women

      I do agree that probably men who are in a standard measurement range probably get it easier. Especially with shirts where women have more variation in chest size in relation to body size when compared with men.

    10. Bill said:

      He he he, Love you bitch, do you get some descent answers OUT of the motherfuckers?

    11. missbossy said:

      This is your lifelong penalty for playing sports as a child. Years of swimming and softball having given me shoulders… and now "women's shirts" never effing fit. I fit comfortably in size-small men's oxford shirts but then am accused of cross-dressing in the office.

    12. alphabitch said:

      @Ian: Exactly … and don't forget the apparently nonexistent percentage of women who have shoulders wider than their hips. ;-)

      @Bill: Answers? Fuck, I'm not even bothering to ask. heh

      @missbossy: You get accused of crossdressing just for wearing a man's oxford? Seriously? Egad. Boy am I fucking glad I don't work there.

    13. Gareth said:

      You bought the marketing, dumbass. Hawes & Curtis? Who the fuck are they? I live near London and I never heard of 'em but, viewing their site, I note they are the same old 20 month 'traditional' brand touting the same old made-in-China shite. Three shirts for £75 is bargain basement in any currency. THAT'S why the tailoring is poor and the cut is mean…..not because you're an outsize member of the oppressed gender. As it is with politicians so it goes with clothes…..you get what ya pay for.

    14. alphabitch said:

      @Gareth: Actually, I didn't "buy the marketing" … I'd never heard of them either, but I happened upon their site somehow or other, and liked the cut of their shirts. There's nothing wrong with the quality of the shirts, as far as fabric and construction. I know a decent quality piece of clothing when I see one, thanks very much.

      And it's hardly the first time I've had a problem with the fit of women's shirts across my shoulders. Actually, every single fucking time I've bought a women's shirt, intending it to appear 'fitted', as opposed to 'hugely fucking baggy', I've had the exact same problem.

      But of course, I wouldn't know what the fuck I was talking about, would I? I've only been buying clothing for myself for the last 15-20 years, after all. Silly girl, for shame, tsk, tsk.

    15. alphabitch said:

      (oh, and I don't know if you've lived around London your whole life or not, but out in the rest of the world, £75 = ~$150 … and $50 shirts are not "bargain basement" anywhere but perhaps London, New York, Tokyo and other such gigantic, expensive areas.)

    16. Sarah said:

      I agree whole-heartedly with this post.

    17. alphabitch said:

      Seems like most of the female commenters do, eh? ;-)

    18. Jane said:

      What about clothing that claims to be for women but isn't? I went shopping to buy motorbike trousers last week and tried on two pairs from the "women's" range. Both pairs I tried were 6 inches too long for me – despite being at least 3 inches taller than my female friends. I had a similar problem with several ladies jackets because their wasn't enough boob room – and I'm not exactly big in that department, and the shoulder pads were down by my elbows! Putting a pink stripe down the side of clothes does NOT mean it's for women when it clearly isn't cut for them!

    19. alphabitch said:

      @Jane: Never had a problem with women's clothing being too long for me … but I know a ton of women who have.

      Funny though, when I went to buy motocross boots, the "women's" boots they had were sized so oddly. A size 7 men's boot was 3 inches taller than the size 9 women's boot. The women's boots only came halfway up my calves. Needless to say, I bought the men's boots. heh

    20. Jane said:

      Yeh, I also bought the mens trousers – at least they had adjustable knee pads so I could move them so they were on my knee not my shin! Still have to turn them up 6 inches though. Did the clothing makers actually measure ANY women?

    21. alphabitch said:

      @Jane: For 'extreme' sports gear like that? I doubt it. I also tried to find a women's chest protector that wouldn't completely squish my chest, only to discover that anyone my size trying to ride a dirt bike must be a man … only one company even made a woman's protector big enough to fit my torso minus the boobs. I would need a breast reduction to make it fit my chest.

    22. Jane said:

      It's because the most "extreme" sport a woman should be doing is using the hoover.

      *rolls eyes*

    23. Gareth said:

      On a positive note, womens' feet are generally smaller….so they can reach the tap (fawcet) to do the dishes. :)

    24. alphabitch said:

      @Jane: Oh lord, you're right! What was I thinking?! Forget the website, I gotta get back in the kitchen! hehehe

      @Gareth: I'd so punch you in the shoulder, if you said that to me in person. ;-)

    25. Alaskan Dave Down Under said:

      T-shirts, shorts, slippers, and the occasional flannel shirt. Once in a while I'll have socks and underwear on too. Buying my clothes is cheap and easy :)

    26. alphabitch said:

      @Alaskan Dave: Yes well, the weather is on your side, isn't it? ;-)

    27. grimbles said:

      I'd say it's winter now, but you'd just laugh at me and take a swim in an ice bath. Although today had some pretty fun rain… I wish we got snow, so I had a legitimate need for a trench coat >.>

    28. alphabitch said:

      @grimbles: We got a hell of a downpour today, then all of a sudden it got sunny again. The weather here is fully schizo.

    29. Alaskan Dave Down Under said:

      @alpha: Gee, I'd expected much more profanity about my smugness :)

      @grimbles: There's no winter down here, trust me on that.