United Airlines checks passengers with firearms through the 'oversized' baggage line. … I swear this saved me at least an hour on my check-in time. Smoking lounge! They have a freaking smoking lounge! Even when I quit again, I'll appreciate this in principle. Free Wi-Fi! (Hello SeaTac, are you listening?! You get sponsors to pay [...]

Sometimes it's hard to come up with a full-length, balls-to-the-wall rant, but a lot of "too long for Twitter, too short for a whole post" ideas float in and out of my head all the time. Here's 10 things every adult really ought to know, but a lot of people are apparently just too fucking [...]

All this political hoo-hah is fun and all, but I think it's time to lighten things up around here. Nevermind the fact that I am either a liberal wacko or a fascist who wants to steal your tax money at gunpoint … I already knew that. Let us now turn our attention to matters that [...]

… or, keep your laws out of my bedroom, off my body, and away from my pipe! That's me. I am the ultimate civil libertarian … a small sampling of my cherished beliefs regarding personal freedom. Legalize gay marriage … not only should homosexuals have the same rights to make themselves miserable as straight people [...]

There are, as you may guess, a great many things about the human race that I find rather bothersome … but few so genuinely irritating as when people with whom I'd otherwise agree take themselves so fucking seriously they make complete cunts of themselves, and their personal ridiculousness then contaminates the ideas I support. These [...]