Profanity of the Month: [insert-animal-here]-Fucker
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This month, we present a collaborative effort between intrepid reader Becca, my baby sister, and yours truly … Yes indeed, f*cking c*nts is please to bring you a second multi-pack of vocabulary-enhancing profane goodness: Meet the [animal]-fucker family!
Not only do these two-part slurs roll off the tongue in a delightfully offensive way, they each have distinctly different connotations. Develop a few [animal]-fucker phrases of your own, and you could spend the rest of your life using nothing but [animal]-fucker insults forevermore! The joy!
- Monkey-fucker: Used to denote someone epically failing at a task. Implies monumental incompetence more than natural stupidity. The sort of person who shouldn't be allowed to carry a loaded firearm, even in a controlled environment [example].
Thanks goes to Becca for that one. She's such a silver-tongued thing, isn't she? - Pig-fucker: 1.) An aggressively self-centered, opportunistically backstabbing person. The kind of guy who'd drive drunk with a passenger, careen off a bridge, leave his passenger behind to drown, and then pretend nothing happened when he awoke the next day [example].
2.) Someone with an inappropriate fondness for the police, given his/her personal circumstances. A 'narc'.
Thanks to my sister for that one. She still *looks*innocent, I swear. - Puppy-fucker: A ruthless, rotten human being, who makes decisions solely for their own benefit, usually at the expense of the smaller, weaker or less powerful people in their way. A psychopath [example].
And that one would be mine … make of it what you will.
There are all sorts of other combinations you could come up with: donkey-fucker, sheep-fucker, rabbit-fucker, goat-fucker … get creative! And again, use them in good health and good cheer. :-)
Sheep-fucker just means 'Kiwi'…
*hides from any nearby kiwis*
21st June 2008 at 6:02 pm | permalink |@grimbles: I'd also heard it refers to Scotsmen … I guess it's a regional thing, eh? ;-)
21st June 2008 at 6:14 pm | permalink |Americans pay out Canadians, Brits pay out Scots, Aussies pay out Kiwis. It's the natural order of things <.<
21st June 2008 at 6:25 pm | permalink |Y'know, I've never heard Americans say much of anything about Canadians … unless they're from Quebec, because that's way too close to being French, y'know? ;-)
21st June 2008 at 7:17 pm | permalink |Not an animal, but I've begun using 'hobo-fucker' for something unique sounding.
21st June 2008 at 10:10 pm | permalink |I have had all kinds of dealings (in a professional setting) with people who are flat out in love with horses. They would rather see another human die rather than their horse be inconvenienced. I have grown to nearly hate these people. My wife, who never swears and leaves that up to me, after hearing my story one day home from work, looked down at the ground and in a very genuine, caring way says "those horse-fuckers".
I love my wife…
21st June 2008 at 10:20 pm | permalink |Maybe its just southerners that whine about Canucks.
21st June 2008 at 11:30 pm | permalink |What's wrong with us Canadians? We're friendly enough…unless you're in Quebec and don't speak fluent French, that IS true.
Nice touch on the Pig-fucker one. I hadn't even thought about that angle.
22nd June 2008 at 4:24 pm | permalink |There's nothing wrong with Canadians, but when was the last time you saw a southerner not complain about something just because it wasn't true? *cough*
22nd June 2008 at 6:00 pm | permalink |@Kevin: I'd love to hear the story that made a non-swearer come up with something like "horse fuckers"! :-D
@Jen: I think the more salient question would be "What's wrong with them Southerners?" ;-)
22nd June 2008 at 6:29 pm | permalink |"What's not wrong…" perhaps would be simpler? >=)
22nd June 2008 at 9:44 pm | permalink |@grimbles: The answer might be shorter …
*waits for someone from Texas to show up*
22nd June 2008 at 10:07 pm | permalink |Oh hey, and if it's a certain Texan, we've found the person to immolate for that other thread…
22nd June 2008 at 11:06 pm | permalink |"Skunk-fucker" has long been just another name for those in the furry "fandom". XD
23rd June 2008 at 6:43 am | permalink |@grimbles: Oooh, good point! ;-)
@Sage: I had no idea … and I'm not sure knowing that makes me a better person. lol
23rd June 2008 at 12:07 pm | permalink |Why do we have to stick to 'fucker' as the tail on this profanity?
Surely their is plenty of mileage in
horse-sucker
cat-wanker
dog-buggerer
and the like?
23rd June 2008 at 3:01 pm | permalink |@Ian: Your alternatives wouldn't be members of the [animal]-fucker family would they? Fucker is the profane part of the equation. As such, it is the limiting factor for this month's feature …
[animal]-[indecent act] is a bit open ended for a short post intended to be only slightly more involved than a dictionary entry.
23rd June 2008 at 3:13 pm | permalink |As in:
James Dobson is a Goat-Fucker
I wonder if that clashes with any of the prohibitions outlined in Leviticus?
23rd June 2008 at 7:32 pm | permalink |@becca: That would be Leviticus 18:23. :-)
23rd June 2008 at 7:54 pm | permalink |@ Alpha: I love Legos. :-)
23rd June 2008 at 8:15 pm | permalink |Legos do give one a little more faith in humanity, don't they? hehehe
23rd June 2008 at 11:34 pm | permalink |my wife and i have gotten a lot of mileage out of bunny-fucker. it's worse than a rabbit-fucker, trust me.
oh, and cunt is an ancient term of respect, as has surely been pointed out to you before.
2nd July 2008 at 9:23 am | permalink |@veiled gazelle: Bunny-fucker also has a better ring to it, I think. :-)
I'd heard a number of different things about the history of "cunt" … but none of them with significant reference material to back it up. Wish I could find something semi-authoritative on it!
3rd July 2008 at 2:21 pm | permalink |