The Ultimate Civil Libertarian
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… or, keep your laws out of my bedroom, off my body, and away from my pipe!
That's me. I am the ultimate civil libertarian … a small sampling of my cherished beliefs regarding personal freedom.
- Legalize gay marriage … not only should homosexuals have the same rights to make themselves miserable as straight people have, but even if the Christians are right, and gays are all going to hell, THAT'S THEIR RIGHT TOO! Fucking hell, according to the fucking BIBLE, God gave us free will, no? We all have the right to choose whether or not to sin in our lives, no? If ANYTHING is a God-given right, it fucking well IS the right to SIN in any way we fucking choose! It says so in YOUR fucking holy book, you hypocritical moralizing cunts! Now get your fucking nosy asses out of my fucking bedroom!
I think the ONLY sensible way for a government to deal with the issue of marriage is to wash its hands of it completely. Allow legal adults to write up and certify whatever legal contracts they like between one another, including civil partnerships. Settle inheritance, adoption and taxation issues that way. And then, if you want to get married in "the eyes of God" or who/what the fuck ever you think gives a shit about your personal life, settle the matter with your church.
And while you're at it, get rid of ANY AND ALL laws regarding any kind of consensual sexual activity. All of them. Because it's none of my fucking business what you do in your bedroom, it's none of your fucking business what I do in mine, and it's certainly none of the government's business either way.
- Legalize drugs. Seriously. Victimless crimes should not be crimes. If you can sell alcohol to an adult, you should also be able to sell them marijuana, cocaine, heroin or whatever the fuck else they want to pump into their bodies. The US government's "War" on drugs (I do not know how you wage war against inanimate substances, but there you go) wastes over 20 BILLION dollars a YEAR "fighting" drug use. The individual states spend even more than that, combined. Then consider the cost of the trials and imprisonment of everyone caught up in the drug war juggernaut as well.
Just imagine for a moment what the United States could do by way of a national drug education and treatment program with that much money … and probably have plenty left over to do something radical like … oh, I don't know … actually provide health care to the general population or something. Hell, we might even be able to swing free tuition at state colleges and universities as well!
Of course, people will say that drug addiction breeds crime … which it does. But please re-read the preceding paragraphs. Treatment programs are more economical than legal punishment. Help people end addiction, and you reduce the "need" for crime. Legalize the sale and possession of drugs, and you take the industry out of the hands of street gangs. You end up with liquor stores that also dispense drugs from behind the counter in packets like cigarettes, perhaps. And a fucking health care system that is capable of handling the side effects. Think about it, people.
"Oh, but I don't want my tax money going to coddle icky drug addicts!" You fucking selfish moron! You'd rather spend ten fucking times as much to arrest and imprison them, just because it's meaner?! What in the fuck is your problem?! You've obviously got a catastrophic mutation in your "common fucking sense and logic" gene, you judgmental, petty, malicious twat.
- Legalize suicide and consensual killing. Didn't see that one coming, did you? But yes. I believe in the right to die as well. However you want to fucking die, it's fine with me. So long as you are of the legal age of consent (and 18 strikes me as a happy medium with that one), it's your life to do with as you see fit. When the Armin Meiwes story hit the news a few years ago, it seemed terribly obvious to me that he should be acquitted. He advertised online for someone who was willing to be killed, butchered and eaten. He replied to everyone who contacted him. He met with four other people before Bernd Jürgen Brandes, all of whom either changed their minds and were allowed to leave, or who didn't suit his fancy for one reason or another (as I recall, one of the interviewees was too heavy … and hey, they always say to eat only lean meat, no?).
Even after passing this rather extensive interview process, Mr. Brandes was repeatedly offered medical help during the evening of his death, and repeatedly refused it … on videotape! If anyone has ever committed a conscientious and consensual killing, it was Armin. And his first trial even very sensibly let him off with a manslaughter conviction and a light 5 year sentence. But the moralizers weren't happy with that. No, he had to be retried, under new laws, and convicted of murder.
Ultimately, I think these and most other personal liberty issues boil down to the same core issue: People don't like it when other people do strange and incomprehensible things. Heaven forbid someone does something you don't understand … my god, NO! Fucking HELL … if that guy likes having a dick up his ass, does that mean it's physically possible that I might as well?! NO THAT'S JUST WRONG!!! AAAHHHH … *covers ears* … LALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
People are social animals at heart … wolves slinking around looking up to the pack leader to see if we're behaving properly … desperate for approval from our pack mates. Social taboos and the laws that enforce them are society's way of reinforcing our sense of belonging and community, without which early man would surely have perished, as physically unfit as we are for solo survival in the wild. But I have a newsflash for you, people: THIS IS THE YEAR 2007.
If your neighbor marries her girlfriend, it will NOT result in the disintegration of the clan, and your inevitable demise at the claws of a toothy predator.
If some guy in Germany really wants to kill and eat someone, and he finds someone who really wants to be killed and eaten, it does not mean that your entire neighborhood will be infested with rampant cannibalism, forcing you to flee the tribe and hole up with your children in a cave somewhere cold and dangerous.
We have reached a level of entrenched civilization where you can actually keep to your own kind, if you like, within a larger society, with different moral standards than your own, and it does not in any way endanger your survival within your social group! It's a miracle!
So, if you don't like what one or more consenting adults may doing with or to one another, kindly fuck right off, go back to your church group meeting, tut-tut about their shocking behavior if you like, and KEEP YOUR FUCKING JUDGMENTAL BULLSHIT OUT OF MY LEGAL SYSTEM. That's right. MY legal system. Because it's mine as much as it is yours, and you don't see me trying to legislate your ridiculous religions out of existence, do you? I'm not trying to mandate recreational drug use, ban marriage, or legislate a mandatory abortion for every adult female in the nation, am I? No, I'm fucking NOT.
Possibly because I'm a mature and stable enough human being that my sense of self is not threatened by other people's behavior… Possibly because I actually believe in the Christian concept of "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you" more than most so-called Christians seem to, and I don't want other people telling me how to live my life… Possibly because I don't think so highly of myself as to think my life choices are necessarily the penultimate ideal of human behavior, so I wouldn't presume to force my way of life down everyone else's throats "for their own good".
Whatever the reason, stop being such judgmental fucking meddlesome cunts, and go live your own lives instead of trying to live everyone else's for them.
—
[NOTE: I did not say I was a registered Libertarian, because I'm not. This point seems to need a little clarification ... I only believe that personal freedoms should be absolute. Personal freedoms for individuals. I have no problem with laws existing to regulate commerce, violent crime or traffic. I think whoever came up with the idea that corporations should have "rights" similar to those of individual citizens should have been shot. So, for those folks who argue I'm not a "real" libertarian, you're absolutely right. I said "civil libertarian," as in a supporter of individual civil liberties, nothing more, nothing less.]
the greatest, most refreshing and "down to earth" rant/opinion that i have ever read! Fantastic! Bill Hicks would be proud, Maynard too…
14th November 2007 at 10:02 am | permalink |a-fucking-men!
14th November 2007 at 2:26 pm | permalink |@tr1gg3r: Thanks! I'd love to think I'm doing two of my idols proud. :-)
@swamijie: and halle-fuckin-lujah! (thx)
14th November 2007 at 3:19 pm | permalink |thank god? i stumbled on to this finally someone with a mind and not afraid to use it.so few do.
15th November 2007 at 12:24 am | permalink |too many shepards and way too many fuckin sheep. thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!! i hope alot more people come across this everybody needs a good smack around now and again. this fits the bill
"everybody needs a good smack around now and again"
rofl … Glad I could help! :-)
15th November 2007 at 2:36 pm | permalink |I like the way you think, sir.
15th November 2007 at 4:54 pm | permalink |It's "ma'am" actually … ;-) But thank you!
15th November 2007 at 9:42 pm | permalink |refreshing
16th November 2007 at 9:25 pm | permalink |three thumbs up!
17th November 2007 at 3:57 am | permalink |i think this text needs publishing and mass distribution- . it's to the point!
17th November 2007 at 7:56 am | permalink |Just great. I belive that the State has no bussiness whatsoever in people's private lives. As long as nobody else gets hurt without wanting to, no one should be told what to do.
Great rant, keep on the good work
17th November 2007 at 8:04 am | permalink |I stumbled on this page, and read the entire thing…
All I can say is that it is by far the most enlightening piece or work I have ever read.
Forgive me for saying, but you have BALLS for posting something as honest as this.
If I had the opportunity to pat you on the back, I would not hesitate to do so.
Thank you.
17th November 2007 at 6:04 pm | permalink |You fucking rock, great post!
17th November 2007 at 6:16 pm | permalink |Your telling other people to stop telling people what to do….thats awesome..
17th November 2007 at 10:21 pm | permalink |That was the truest shit i have ever herd. I mean fuck those who put people in prison for doing drugs, try to enforce their beleifs on everyone else (If you dont beleive me, visit a little website called chick.com they will give you pamplets telling you that all "queers" are going to hell) I am done rambling but, thanks for making that.
18th November 2007 at 6:56 pm | permalink |oh, here is the fucking link if you want to send them a survey and a comment telling them how fucked up they are. —-> http://www.chick.com/default.asp
18th November 2007 at 7:04 pm | permalink |funny? #6 assumed a male author.
18th November 2007 at 8:15 pm | permalink |may i respectfully suggest paying more attention to detail ;-)
it seems the longer i visit this website, the more 'normal' i feel. 'ppreciate the new sensation!
The only problem I have is I want to be damn sure there is no way to fake my consent to be killed. I don't get the whole Gay marriage thing – to me marriage is a system to protect children and dependent spouses, suppose under our current insurance system that employers and the insurance companies have the most to loose there. As for the drug thing – where will government go next to control our lives when drugs are legal?
18th November 2007 at 8:44 pm | permalink |Finally, someone who feels as i do and has the guts to stand up for it. I've been called on the carpet many times because I DO NOT REFORM to the thinking of others, I am not a team player, I am not a Lemmin and I DO NOT follow the crowd. They are headed for destruction, and unfortunately, they're going to take the rest of us with them.
If I want to smoke, that's my business. If you don't like it, fuck you and go somewhere else. Smoking should not be against the law, nor should the government have any control of what I put in my body, decide to do with my body or any aspect of my life for that matter.
The government needs to be put in its place and that is tending to the government and leaving our rights alone. Oh, but wait, if they do that then we cannot become a fascist nation. How could I forget that one since we're only a step away from that one.
If you don't like it, don't do it. If you don't want to watch it, change the channel. If you don't like my religion, fuck you, I don't like yours but I'm not in the religion recruiting business. Get church out of government. It does not belong there.
Why should you, a dumbass, take away my rights because you don't like them, believe in them or agree with them, and go about your merry way keeping yours. DISCRIMINATION.
And on a final note, do the new HD tvs really have a chip that allows Big Brother to ease drop on you in your own home and to monitor what you watch? Is that why we're all going to have to have new tvs by 2010?
Something to think about.
18th November 2007 at 9:07 pm | permalink |Well written!
19th November 2007 at 12:58 pm | permalink |wow. i _like_ your brain :)
best stumble in a while! keep up the ranting and raving. ;)
rss'd.
19th November 2007 at 1:45 pm | permalink |Absolutely Awesome
19th November 2007 at 5:08 pm | permalink |Wow everyone, thanks a lot! I went away on a little weekend trip, and came home to over a dozen comments waiting for approval (and I did approve them *all*, no censorship here folks).
All much appreciated, and thanks for taking the time to read the site!
19th November 2007 at 6:45 pm | permalink |yeah that was pretty damn interesting. I agree with it all, cleaning up the language and throwing in some statistics would actually make it a pretty convincing argument that a lot of reasonable people would take very seriously.
19th November 2007 at 8:47 pm | permalink |Some of your ideas are great. I've been an activist for years. However…it may be best if you walk the walk before talking the talk. Legalising drugs is insane.
I live in the Downtown Eastside of Vancouver, Canada. Its the roughest neighbourhoud in North America: Lowest income, most drug arrests, most police for equivelant area. Most of the victims are young women who get hooked on drugs. First they become "smoozers" and sleep around for drugs. Soon enugh, they become prostitutes. I have watched these women being abused because of their addiction….No buddy….no drugs. Pot..sure! hash, sure! Crack?, Powder?,Down? (heroin),NO. Chop a dealers hand off if convicted. Nobody has the right to give people, or our entire society, permission to provide to such an addiction.
19th November 2007 at 9:21 pm | permalink |@Zach: I actually used to collect Chick Tracts … the most awful, hateful little comics I've ever seen. I shudder to think anyone might read one and take it seriously!
@J.C.: Very good point. There would have to be a major burden of proof requirement for consensual killing … probably involving video tape and keeping records of email contacts, etc.
@Fadrian Gibson: Not heard anything convincing about HDTV "spy chips" … but I do recall they used to say the same thing when satellite/cable TV came out. The set-top boxes were supposed to spy on you as well.
@fund: When I started this site, I figured there were already a lot of sensible, diplomatic people writing social commentary. Ranting at the choir, I may be … but that is more or less the point. ;-)
@Jim: I have seen friends and friends' families destroyed by drugs. I know hard drugs are very dangerous things. However, the current policy of banning them obviously isn't preventing the problems you mention … if it were effective, the neighborhood you describe would not be in the shape it's in.
I think putting law enforcement money into drug education and residential treatment programs would be a vast improvement. People who wanted help could get it, without fear of arrest or prohibitive treatment costs. People who don't want help are going to continue doing drugs whether they're illegal or not.
19th November 2007 at 10:00 pm | permalink |that was great, even for me, a southamerican guy who watch cnn and fox and still gets amazed with how bad the u.s. goverment is fucking with every person on the country and affecting the whole world with their fucked up belifs, of whats really "the best" for their people, i hope u keep on getting to people the way u are right now and more and more people realizes how fucked up things are getting in "America",
19th November 2007 at 10:18 pm | permalink |opinions on Ron Paul?
20th November 2007 at 12:22 am | permalink |@chabillionaire: Timely topic, thanks for the suggestion … will see what I can put up tomorrow on that! :-)
20th November 2007 at 12:28 am | permalink |Hasta la victoria siempre! – che
i believe there are plenty of you out there willing to make a move, so i suggest, alphbitch puts out a version of this text with a little less profanity (some should be kept to emphasize the points) and get the text e'mailed posted in as many places ass possible. i'm a strong believer guerrilla information distribution can over turn systems (eg Myanmar) so just an idea but it could lead to something .
20th November 2007 at 6:12 am | permalink |@jim: what's the difference between addiction to the "hard drugs" you mention and an addiction to, say, cigarettes or alcohol? physiologically, it's the same, clinically, it's the same. physiologically, cigarettes produce markers of addiction such as dopamine release in the brain, tolerance, sensitization (that buzz one gets when smoking a cigarette after a long hiatus), and withdrawal that rivals heroin or amphetamine, and withdrawal from alcohol can be life-threatening if not done under a doctor's supervision. addiction to cigarettes is not a big problem because cigarettes are easy to find, easy to afford and not against the law and alcohol is not illegal, therefore not viewed as a law enforcement issue, unless the user is publicly intoxicated and a danger to himself or others. while cigarettes may not produce the maladaptive behavior that the others may cause, when in short supply (for example, in jail) seeking out cigarettes leads to a lot of maladaptive behavior (prostitution, trafficking, violence, etc). Cigarettes do have the potential to cause many of the problems you mentioned, and I believe, if cigarettes were banned as a controlled substance they would become a huge law enforcement issue. Prolonged use of cigarettes or alcohol produces just as much physiological damage, even if qualitatively different and incurs a health cost that rivals or surpasses costs of the other drugs. So, what would happen if coke were no longer banned, sold at the corner drug store for a lot cheaper than the current street price and dealt with as a social, medical problem just as cigarettes or alcohol are?
20th November 2007 at 3:17 pm | permalink |@kees: If you'd like to do a "clean version" rewrite of this post, you're more than welcome to (just post a link back to the original wherever you post it, please!). :-)
@swamijie: Yes, exactly. I think the current prohibition policy against drugs is causing as much trouble as the drugs themselves. Drug abuse should be treated as a social/medical/health issue, rather than a legal one, IMO.
20th November 2007 at 4:09 pm | permalink |ur gay
20th November 2007 at 9:52 pm | permalink |RON PAUL IS GOD
20th November 2007 at 9:54 pm | permalink |Actually, JP, I'm heterosexual. And I'm fairly certain Ron Paul is, in fact, a mortal human.
But thank you so very much for your scintillating commentary!
20th November 2007 at 10:02 pm | permalink |I got to tell you that people love to tell other people what to do.In fact they enjoy it so much that they create laws that you mention to put people behind bars for just smoking a little weed. what ever I don't give a damn how people live as long as they don't bother me. why do people think that I need them to save me from myself. Thanks for a great post and I will be sending my friends by for a look.
21st November 2007 at 1:28 pm | permalink |@stephen: Agreed, and thanks!
21st November 2007 at 2:24 pm | permalink |BRAVO!!
21st November 2007 at 4:48 pm | permalink |i like this.
21st November 2007 at 7:18 pm | permalink |i completely agree.
i argue about this shit with fucking republican cunts like everyday, and they're all cunts. like my mom… shes a fat cunt.
In all honesty that was one of the most intelligent rants I've ever read, and I agree with every point that you have to make. This nation was founded on the principle that the people run the nation, but our entire country ends up misrepresented by business and assholes. And even though there are people out there who agree with you as well, nobody does anything. This isn't a come-on, but i would love to talk to you online sometime about this, if youre interested my aim screenname is the same as my email. I'd love to hear from you
21st November 2007 at 7:54 pm | permalink |Wow that was a very good article i agree with it completely. I agree with kees to the point of taking it to the government in a cleaner version but in the same respect i believe that you should never have to censor your words, they are merely a way of expressing yourself.why should dozens of words be "bad" words its all freedom of speech
21st November 2007 at 8:17 pm | permalink |So does consenual sexual activity cover animals who can't very well appose being violated? There are plenty of fucked up fetishes out there, and for most I'll say 'whatever blows your skirt up', but involving animals is not right in any way and that should be enforced by law. Thoses who can't speak for themselves should have someone with their interests in mind speak for them, and I beilieve that in all regards, dont you agree? Reagarding drugs, adults are welcome to fuck up their lives and have drugs more redily at their disposal, but what abot minors? Sure, it's as easy to buy weed in a high school as borrowing a pencil, and even in middle schools, but heroin? I dont think a fraction of all that potentially saved money could begin to cover the shit we'll be getting ourselves into if the youth of america is escalating from pot to heroin…If heavy drugs like cocaine and heroin were available in packs at the local Stop n' Go their popularity would skyrocket! Before, only junkies and crack-whores could score crank, now its no big deal, everyone can! What happens when 13 year olds are hanging outside the drugstore trying to get college kids to buy them blow? Good luck with the next generation of world leaders, going through withdrawls before they're old enought to legally buy drugs (ha!), and their kids are going to turn out real nice too. Of course, this is a worst-case-scenario but of the vast number of kids that smoke pot, many are eager to experimenting with other more dangerous drugs and when those drugs become easily attainable and more acceptable, we would have an epidimic on our hands. Sorry that was really really long…
21st November 2007 at 10:54 pm | permalink |The legalize drugs part is wrong, the war on drugs costs 48 billion dollars a year, not 20. Its much worse now.
22nd November 2007 at 1:20 am | permalink |I'm not Libertarian for the same reason. Fuck neoliberal economic policy; corporations are not operating to uphold the interests of the people. They will grind up as many babies as they must to maximize their profits. It's sad that we've got an only slightly less corrupt government to monitor them.
22nd November 2007 at 1:55 am | permalink |Damn, thats fucking awesome! You pretty much just said everything that has been on my mind for so many years now! You're 900% correct in everything you said in that rant. People should be allowed to choose what they want, when they want how they want. It is supposed to be FREE country. Instead we got bigot fucks and racist fat bastards telling us everything. Hmm isn't that concidered communism or something? Where we aren't allowed to choose for ourselves, we have to do what someone else tells us or else we are killed or sent to prison for along time.. something liek that. But yeah.. dead on!
22nd November 2007 at 1:35 pm | permalink |I completely agree with all that was said in your rant/blog, but a word to (most of)those who commented:
22nd November 2007 at 11:22 pm | permalink |First, some of you spoke about how you didn't follow the crowd, yet you seem to have come here to be part of a crowd, one that is more receptive to you; you say that you are too much of a free thinker, yet you say nothing new for yourself too add to this, instead you merely agree and proclaim your rebelliousness to the world, as if seeking attention.
Second, to those who call those of differing views cunts and the like, yet also exclaim their acceptance of all slightly hypocritical? To be fair shouldn't you exclaim that you disagree, but also state that you respect the opinions of others, no matter how maligned in thought you think they may be?
I just wanted to add a few thoughts to the discussion. I hope I haven't offended anyone. Thanks
@lola: Dear lord, no I don't support molesting animals … I did say "consenting adults" didn't I? It didn't occur to me that I'd have to specify "consenting adult HUMANS" lol …
… and that is the caveat to everything I wrote: consenting adult humans. Not animals, not children.
@everyone else: Thanks for your comments and time … if I weren't about to head out the door, I'd try to answer everyone in more detail.
23rd November 2007 at 6:22 pm | permalink |Absolutely fucking brilliant!
25th November 2007 at 10:40 am | permalink |I live in the UK and it's becoming the epitome of a nanny state.
Keep it coming pls.
yeah u pretty muched summed up my thoughts on civil liberties pretty well though i must say your language was more "flowery" than mine, but i just dont understand how people cant see that half the problems with drugs would disapear if they were legalised or at the very least significantly reduced.
25th November 2007 at 10:46 am | permalink |" The US government’s “War” on drugs (I do not know how you wage war against inanimate substances, but there you go) wastes over 20 BILLION dollars a YEAR “fighting” drug use. "
that's brilliant AND hilarious! i love your arguments. they make me laugh and think at the same time! ;)
25th November 2007 at 11:39 am | permalink |