I have no words … Paris Hilton?!
Feel free to stalk our every post with the f*cking c*nts RSS feed, subscribe to f-ckingc-nts.com by email, follow our new posts and random comments on Twitter, or become a fan on facebook. Go on. You know you want to! All the cool kids are doing it ...
Y'know, I don't want to like Paris Hilton. I really, really, really don't. But after seeing this video … um … I think my brain just imploded.
If you've seen McCain's "celebrity" attack ad—implying Obama is just a shallow celebrity with no leadership ability, by way of implicitly comparing him to Paris Hilton—this little spoof might even make you like Ms. Hilton a little.
See McCain's original ad …
















Too bad her entire family has donated quite a bit to the McCain camp in the last year.
http://www.opensecrets.org/indivs/donor_lookup.php?sort=A&name=hilton&cycle=2008
6th August 2008 at 2:30 pm | permalink |@TheMadHat: Well, I wouldn't expect any different from a multinational corporate dynasty. ;-)
6th August 2008 at 2:44 pm | permalink |According to Huffington post:
Now, that's still a pretty penny, and the Hilton corporation donated $10K+ itself, but it's not huge compared to the cost of running one of those
6th August 2008 at 2:54 pm | permalink |circusescampaigns these days.In all honesty, when I saw this on Countdown on MSNBC last night, I laughed my ass off. But then I felt guilty for laughing at something Paris Hilton was in.
Still, "I'll see you at the debates, bitches" is something I hope to hear either McCain or Obama say at least once before this campaign is over. Just for the surreal / laugh factor.
6th August 2008 at 3:45 pm | permalink |I already have that vid… oh yeah the mccain thing, I knew that.
6th August 2008 at 3:57 pm | permalink |This is great….The Hilton family is royally pissed at McCain, as are many of the other super-rich who are his only supporters, over this ad.
I doubt he will be getting any more donations from them
And since Brityany Spears represents the other group who supports him, I guess he shot himself in the foot big time.
Which is the only thing Republicans seem to be good at these days….
6th August 2008 at 4:11 pm | permalink |@Beth K: Oooh, I hope you're right on all counts … heh. Anyone who's either a) too ignorant to know what condoms are good for, or b) too whipped by the party higher-ups to openly admit they help prevent the spread of HIV, doesn't need to be President under ANY circumstances.
6th August 2008 at 4:58 pm | permalink |She can't talk that fast, without a director. I'm utterly impressed.
6th August 2008 at 5:07 pm | permalink |I seen that last night and LMAO!
6th August 2008 at 5:32 pm | permalink |That is the greatest FUCK YOU ever :D I laughed so hard I cried.
And I fear I actually have a little respect for her now… shit, razor blades, I needs razor blades…
6th August 2008 at 5:47 pm | permalink |For real! I don't like her but my hatred has lifted slightly, at least until the next time I am forced to look at her vag. Why did she have to sound so god damn articulate? That girl can read the shit out of a teleprompter. And her mom got a bitch slap in for good measure. how can McSame and Obama be neck and neck? Fuck me if McSame wins…
7th August 2008 at 2:49 am | permalink |Ain't that some shit AB? She was almost convincing throwing in her two cents. Was it good acting, her in a zone or her actually having a few working neurons?
7th August 2008 at 4:46 am | permalink |Yeah, she actually used correct English. And, I'm sure the McCain camp actually likes it because they are getting press from it. I think they even commented on the ad to the press saying that her energy policy was better than Obama's.
7th August 2008 at 5:44 am | permalink |Oh, one more thing. I'll be curious to see how many "Paris Hilton" write in's come from this.
7th August 2008 at 5:47 am | permalink |@bill: "She can't talk that fast …"
What I'm thinking is that she can't think that fast, when she's using her own words, but like Mitzi said, she can read off a teleprompter really well. ;-)
@Rick: Exactly.
@DAVE ID: "shit, razor blades, I needs razor blades…"
So, your brain imploded too? hehehe
@Mitzi: "how can McSame and Obama be neck and neck?" I'm wondering what the "protest vote" effect might be … people voting for McCain just because Paris Hilton slammed on him? hehe
@Ray: "Was it good acting, her in a zone or her actually having a few working neurons?"
I think we should open up betting … but how would we ever determine who won?
@grnidone: "… they even commented on the ad to the press saying that her energy policy was better than Obama's."
Funny thing is, it's better than McCain's too. (And frankly, I personally don't think new oil exploration is going to do shit. It takes too long to locate and develop new oil deposits for it to have fuck-all effect on today's prices.)
The Paris Hilton write-ins are a scary thought though. ;-)
7th August 2008 at 7:36 pm | permalink |Well it scares the living shit out of me when PARIS HILTON hands the political process' ass to the candidates in a 2 or 3 minute video in retaliation for making fun of her. It says a lot to how low the process has sunk and its just freaky.
7th August 2008 at 7:41 pm | permalink |@DAVE ID: Yes, well. That is a WHOLE different ball of wax. ;-)
7th August 2008 at 8:45 pm | permalink |I fully support a Paris Hilton bid for the presidency… if it's her against Obama, either way we win.
If Obama wins, we have a smart, young and did I mention SMART person in the white house for a goddamn change.
If Paris Hilton wins, we'll get Bill Clinton back in the white house.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL…. ok I'll shut up.
8th August 2008 at 4:08 am | permalink |I was all set to comment on Paris Hilton,, and then,,I realized,,, Russia just invaded a democratic fucking country!!
9th August 2008 at 5:46 pm | permalink |Putin's a fuck. 100% grade A Premium Fuck.
9th August 2008 at 8:08 pm | permalink |@pedro: Well, in my defense this piece was posted before that hit the news. ;-)
And here's what I've gathered of the situation: A province of Georgia split off, and the Georgian gov't (which, afaik, doesn't earn high marks for it's sweeping anti-corruption policies either) has been trying to militarily regain control of the region. Russia then steamrolled in to the breakaway province, and ran the Georgian military out.
Now, I'm not saying Russia handled the situation gracefully, or with any hint of restraint, but it's not entirely as clean cut as "Russia invaded a democratic country," given that the province in question probably feels they have good reason to want to get out of Georgia in the first place.
That's my 2¢ anyhow.
10th August 2008 at 2:36 pm | permalink |In fact, the whole situation is ironic as hell, given that Russia's whole grudge against Georgia is because Georgia broke away from Russia in the first place … fucking hell, humans are such fucking hypocrites sometimes. yeesh.
10th August 2008 at 2:40 pm | permalink |Of course I am aware that this post was older, before the Putinistas attacked Georgia,and yes, Georgia broke away from the Soviet Gulag (I call it "liberated itself"), and the USA broke away from Britan (and Peru broke away from Spain) .. So, it would be like Britan invading the USA, as happened in 1813…I'm just saying,,, Russia is way out of bounds here.
10th August 2008 at 4:09 pm | permalink |Then, I asked myself… HMMM…. What Would Barry Hussein Do? I think he would shrink under the cold blue eyes of Commrade Putin.(negotiate?) This is why your American election is so important. I for one, would rather have a tested, proven entity in the Oval Office. I shudder at the thought of Obama, listening to Ludicris on his iPod, as Putin devours the rest of Europe.
@pedro: Well, like I said: Russia didn't use any restraint or diplomacy in the situation … but if the US had the right to break away from Britain, and Peru had the right to break away from Spain, and Georgia had the right to break away from Russia, why doesn't South Ossetia have the right to break away from Georgia?
If my understanding of the situation is correct (and I got my info from mostly non-US newspaper websites, fwiw), it was Georgia's attempt to militarily prevent South Ossetia's independence from themselves that gave Russia the excuse to go in and pulverize them. So, if Georgia had granted the South Ossetians the same right to self-rule that they themselves recently exercised against Russia, Putin would have had to try a lot harder to find an excuse to send in the tanks, no? (Slate.com has a good piece on the Russia/Georgia/South Ossetia situation).
And y'know what? McCain is NOT a "tested, proven entity" by a long shot. His foreign policy experience consists of joining the military, getting captured, and being locked in a POW camp. I don't see how that's going to help him deal with Putin in the slightest (although I can see how PTSD might hamper his ability to respond calmly and rationally to a sudden crisis). Frankly, when I go to the polls in November, I'm a little more concerned about whether or not we elect another warmonger who's going to continue on with Bush's imperialist bullshit (which is currently killing lots of people, and making the rest of the world hate us even more than usual), than I am about which of the candidates has served more terms in the Senate.
Let's face it, neither of them have shit for experience being President, and I'm much more inclined to vote for someone who actually seems to take the time to *learn* about things, and speak his mind in accordance with that knowledge, than I am to vote for someone who's such a mindless, doddering drone that he can't even answer a question about whether or not condoms help prevent the spread of HIV, without checking with the Party Overlords to find out what his answer is supposed to be.
10th August 2008 at 5:52 pm | permalink |@ab: "someone who actually seems to take the time to *learn*"
And someone who actually *has* the time. Eventually Darth Vader will turn against him, and the Imperial fleet will be without direction! … … Uh, I mean, "he's old" >.>
As for Georgia/Russia. Who started it is irrelevant. Russia isn't just 'liberating' a region, they're bombing the crap out of the rest of Georgia. Besides, isn't unilateral invasion for the sake of 'liberation' exactly the kind of crap that people are already sick of from the US govt? How long do you think it's going to be (if it's not already) before the official line out of Moscow is going to be "We're just doing what you Americans did in Iraq". Granted, the Georgians gave them a big stinking excuse on a silver platter, but if everyone invaded everyone they had an excuse to invade, we'd be embroiled in an infinite war.
'Sides, Russia doesn't exactly have the moral high ground when it comes to breakaways. Chechnya anyone?
10th August 2008 at 8:23 pm | permalink |@grimbles: Oh, believe me I don't think anyone except perhaps the South Ossetians have the moral high ground here … I was just saying, it's not as clear cut as "Russia invaded a democratic country," in a particularly ironic way. ;-)
11th August 2008 at 12:32 pm | permalink |Wow - Paris Hilton to South Ossetia in one thread - that takes some doing.
Paris - who fucking cares what she does, or says or who she fucks.
The political manipulation is awesome, great fun to watch - and I'm sure that Paris' bank balance is increasing nicely.
The Russian invasion of South Ossetia is a matter that need looking at in detail - same way as the US/UK invasion of Iraq needs looking at in detail - Weapons of Mass Destruction anyone?
Putin is defintely a cunt of the highest order, but a clever politician too. Sell your people on the right line at the right time and they'll buy it hook, line and sinker.
P.S. Where do I join the Alaskan Revolutionary Front?
11th August 2008 at 3:59 pm | permalink |*sigh*
I said it. "How long do you think it's going to be … before the official line out of Moscow is going to be 'We're just doing what you Americans did in Iraq'"
Most recent story I read on it: Putin saying the Georgians are as bad as *drumroll* Saddam Hussein.
Roll on the next cold war =/ The republicans will be happy, their 'war on terror' shtick was getting tired, they need a new enemy to justify the fearmongering and insane military spending. What better new enemy than an old enemy? >.>
11th August 2008 at 7:55 pm | permalink |Paris obviously has some marketing savvy; she can turn anything into a PR boost for herself… thx to McCain’s miscalculation, she’ll be selling more cans of wine than ever
11th August 2008 at 9:26 pm | permalink |@Ian: "Paris Hilton to South Ossetia in one thread - that takes some doing."
We're a "special" group around here, yessir, we are. hehehe
re. Russia: "Sell your people on the right line at the right time and they'll buy it hook, line and sinker."
I wonder if he was Bush's secret rhetoric coach?
@grimbles: Y'know, the tail end of the Cold War seemed rather peaceful compared to the shit going on now. Lots of speechifying and stockpiling, not so much actual shooting … might not be such a bad thing.
It's kind of like leaving a quietly miserable marriage and jumping into an actively abusive relationship, I'd guess. Suddenly sitting in the living room determinedly not speaking to each other starts to look nice, compared to being in a fistfight every night. ;-)
@media boy: "cans of wine"
12th August 2008 at 9:17 am | permalink |I don't know whether to laugh or be sick! ;-)
@ab:
Can I just choose to be single? Find a FWB (or two..)?
Ok, attempting to visualise the state of international relations that could be represented as casual sex is kinda freaky.
Anyway, I was all of, uh, 5 when the cold war thawed. It's all second-hand, so 'twould be a new experience for me.
12th August 2008 at 10:45 am | permalink |Yeah, I think the metaphor is seriously breaking down at that point. ;-)
12th August 2008 at 12:29 pm | permalink |Anyone can look good with good writing. That script could've been read by Cortney Love and it would've sounded good.
19th August 2008 at 12:29 pm | permalink |Why must you keep altering me views of people so severely?! My damn head's gunna explode!
6th September 2008 at 4:02 pm | permalink |@max: Not everyone can read well though … look how stilted Sarah Palin sounded at the RNC the other night. ;-)
@The Sister: I'm so terribly sorry, you poor little thing. ;-) Expanding your mind hurts sometimes, but it's all for your own good.
6th September 2008 at 6:26 pm | permalink |No, no, didn't you read the church's sign?? My brains just might fall right out! Do you want that?!
7th September 2008 at 2:22 am | permalink |@The Sister: Aww, we can always pick 'em up, rinse 'em off, and stick 'em back in there. :-) I'm sure a little duct tape could fix it all up!
7th September 2008 at 2:02 pm | permalink |