On the Web: The World According to (US) Americans

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A little nod to all our visitors who corrected me on my assertion that America (aka, the USA) was not, in fact, #1. (Edited from a version I found online … because I did once have to tell someone Alaska was attached to North America):

world geography according to people educated in US public schools
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Written by alphabitch. Posted on Tuesday, February 26th, 2008, at 3:39 pm.
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28 Responses to “On the Web: The World According to (US) Americans”

  1. Becca said:

    Hey, Africa's missing.

  2. Becca said:

    BTW, Alaska isn't attached to North America. My atlas here at home says that its floating off the coast of CA (just NW of Hawaii) with a big fence around it.

  3. Ptere said:

    I think Africa's supposed to be missing. It's the dark continent, after all, filled with invisible men and women.

    What's the little gray evil-doers island? Are they floating North Koreans?

  4. alphabitch said:

    @becca: Shit! I forgot the fence! And … um … what's "Africa"? Is that some kind of new Starbucks flavor?

    @ptere: Yeah, I think so … floating just like Alaska!

  5. akshelby said:

    Love it! That pretty much hits the nail on the head.

  6. quirkycircus said:

    Haha :) Classic. It reminds me of a video from albino black sheep.

    I'm sure most people have seen it, but here's the link anyway:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZMwKPmsbWE

  7. Autodidact said:

    @Alph,

    Not only is it coffee, but it's also a rather baudy name for a tea-bag:

    http://www.starbucksstore.com/products/shprodde.asp?SKU=6231

  8. Autodidact said:

    Whoops, missing a letter…heres the real link:

    http://www.starbucksstore.com/products/shprodde.asp?SKU=623174

  9. Autodidact said:

    Maybe the simple minded view of the world comes from the fact that we as a country are spending more than 10 times on the war than that which we spend on education.

    To substantiate that, follow:
    http://www.gpoaccess.gov/usbudget/fy09/pdf/budget/tables.pdf

    Notice that security and the war on terror funding adds up to 639 billion dollars, and edu-macation adds up to 57.2 or about 8.95% of the war related funditures.

    This is certainly not a fair comparison, because I belive they have no major ongoing battle related efforts, but to put things in perspective, Britains budget for education is 77 billion pounds and their total defense budget is 32 billion (in other words, their education spending is 240.6% of their defense spending).

    Go here:
    http://budget2007.treasury.gov.uk/page_09.htm

    for Britains budget.

  10. fabrulana said:

    Love how my country (Africa) is even on the map. Brilliant lol !

  11. alphabitch said:

    @Autodidact: "… it's also a rather baudy name for a tea-bag" Oh dear. I don't think I'll be drinking that tea any time soon … it just doesn't sound appetizing. lol

    "Maybe the simple minded view of the world comes from the fact that we as a country are spending more than 10 times on the war than that which we spend on education." That could explain a LOT of things, couldn't it? LOL

    @fabrulana: "Love how my country (Africa) is even on the map." Isn't that the best? :-D

  12. Abestar said:

    Africa is a country now?

  13. Sidne Taylor said:

    Every one of those countries: the pussies, evil doers, commumist and gangsters, coffee growers, laundry workers etc have been paid for with the blood of the American fighting men who rallied to the call of help from them in thier distress. We Americans should be and are caretakers of this planet's security and all the wars have proven who's the strongest and best for the job. It should be freedom from tryants and a right to live each individual life as the individual wants not those of thier rulers. America is not perfect but you could not put this site in some dictator ruled countries.

  14. alphabitch said:

    @sidne: Although I disagree with almost everything you said, your last sentence sums up one of my favorite things about this country.

  15. Autodidact said:

    @sidne,

    They made a deceptively satirical/ironic documentary, the subject of my post, detailing America's fight against those that would do evil. I can't pronounce the name without screwing something up, so follow the link:

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0372588/

  16. ptere said:

    @sidne: I don't think that the fact that we win most of the wars we start says much one way or another about or propensity or proclivity to take care.

    You ought also to examine the role of US foreign policy in the establishment and support of dictatorships.

  17. sparrows said:

    @sinde: "the American fighting men who rallied to the call of help from them in thier distress"
    i can't generalize on the goals of the 'fighting men' out there actually risking life/limb/sanity. but as far as the idea that helping people from their distress has been our actual motivation for our global interactions, i'd haveto dissagree with you. big time. but don't take it from me. go read some henry kissinger. edify yourself on what our real motivations have been.

  18. Sinde said:

    The roles or goals of the American fighting man are not the same as the leaders(president/congress/state Dept)
    The reasons for wars are inmaterial and only won wars change history. Unfinished wars always leaves the most aggrsive country stronger.
    Germany was stronger after WWI North Korea thinks they are stronger after the Korean war and North Viet Nam was stromger after the Viet Nam war.
    I am far from a war monger but I do think when a bully bullies you, you have to beat him for him to stop. Begging, fighting back will not stop him. You have to let him know he can not do anything to you again ever. Even if it means killing him.
    Henry Kissinger was a dilplomat who used talk and compomise to postpone wars. Diplomicy only postpones it never has or never will solve the problems of this world.
    We, all people fight wars for personal reasons every day: Better job, more land, family name etc. Countries do the same. Dictators Tryant CEO seek more power.
    Everyone loses if some do not win. Winning makes the winner stronger.

  19. The Beautiful Kind said:

    The "Africa doesn't exist" part of the map was the best part all right.

    This map is missing one important thing though - where does porn come from??

    Obviously most Americans haven't seen GGG (German Goo Girls) porn or they would be quaking in their boots instead of thinking Europe = pussies.

  20. alphabitch said:

    @the beautiful kind: Hmmm. Good point. But everyone knows an all-American kind of guy would only look at all-American porn! I'm not even sure I want to check out the GGG stuff … lol

  21. sparrows said:

    @sinde: i guess we'll have to agree to disagree, seeing as you sound pretty well dug in to your trench. do read kissinger, though. i reccomended his work for a reason. i think you'll like it. seriously, no joke. he has a world-as-chess-board approach that you seem to agree with. i find it monstrous, but the dude's work is genious none the less. and you'll be able to justify your opinions with valid evidence. Germany was stronger after WWI? You really think that? Come on now, do some research. Why do you think Hitler got elected in the first place? Because things were going well over there? A hint: no.
    i've been commenting way too much lately anyways. i'm out for a while.

  22. Aimee said:

    Haha. Canada is uninhabited. Even though I have internet. We do hunt seals and live in igloos though. ;)

    Lol. Awesome picture. It displays the ignorance of many of the Americans. Which makes me feel good inside for some odd reason. xD

  23. alphabitch said:

    @aimee: You live in igloos too? I thought that was only Alaska! Sweet!

  24. pedro ramierez said:

    Maybe the USA (We peruvians dont consider the USA "America") is not #1, but,,there are a hell of alot more of us illegally in your country than there are Gringos here illegally, I wonder why, since we have better food!

  25. Amanda said:

    That is hi-fucking-larious. Seriously… cause there's no Africa. It's sad how correct this thing is.

  26. alphabitch said:

    @pedro: Really, I prefer saying "The US" in most contexts, but when speaking of the inhabitants, "Americans" is a lot easier to type than "citizens of the US". Too bad there isn't a more convenient term for us … I don't think "Gringo" would really work for me. heh

    @amanda: The scary thing is, the first time I looked at it, it took a minute before I realized "OOooooh. Africa is missing!" rofl!

  27. pedro ramierez said:

    Ok. I don't blame you guys for calling yourselves "Americans". First of all, you didn't start this, the Europeans did! The Brits referred to you cunts this way before you were a country. And, there is another point, you are the only country with the word "America" in your name. Peru may be in America, but we are NOT the Republica de Peru en America,,, etc. So,, I have no problem with you calling yourselves "Americans" If you guys called yourselves UnitedStatesians, the rest of the world would think you were almost as silly as those fucking French cunts. ( I really hate when I see the words "Hispanic"or "Latinos",) WTF is an Hispanic??? And, is someone from the Andes who is 100% native "Latin"??? Is a pure African blooded Dominican "Latin"?? I don't think so…

  28. alphabitch said:

    @pedro: I heard a new one you'll love on the radio today: Afro-Latinos. Maybe that covers the Dominicans?

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