Shut up about Edwards' fucking "baby" already!
OK, so I'm on my way to work the other day, and I turn on NPR "Talk of the Nation" (usually an interesting take on mainstream news, or stories you don't hear about elsewhere) … and they're talking about John fucking Edwards' big affair/illegitimate baby bullshit scandal, with (this is the good part) the "Executive Editor" of the National fucking ENQUIRER! What the fuck?! I turn on public radio so I don't have to listen to vacuous bullshit on the ~40min. drive to the office!
So yeah. Here I am, listening to a couple of "serious" journalists discussing a nonsense scandal story with the editor of the biggest bullshit gossip rag in the US … who's bullshit gossip rag was the one who "broke" the big story. (For those of you who aren't up on trashy US "newspapers", the National Enquirer pays their sources for stories … as though that isn't motivation enough for some bizzarro attention-seeking slut to start talking shit.)
Here's the bare bones rundown of the situation: Ex-campaign Staffer Chickie (Rielle Hunter) tells the National Enquirer that she had an affair with John Edwards back in 2006, and she had his baby. Edwards admits the affair, denies being the father of the baby, and offers to take a paternity test. Ex-campaign Staffer Dude says the baby is his (apparently Chickie was quite the friendly videographer?). Chickie refuses to get a paternity test on the baby.
If she knew Edwards was the father, why in hell would she turn down his offer to take a paternity test and prove it? Simple! She's lying to get attention (or because someone paid her to try and destroy Edwards' career?), and the jig's up. End of story.
Sure, you can argue that Edwards may have spent campaign money to shut her up, or take her out to dinner … that would be a story. You might say that because he was using "morals" as a rallying cry in his campaign, while he was having an affair, he's a hypocrite who deserves to be exposed. Fine. That's already been taken care of. It's over. But people are still talking about whether or not he's Chickie-Baby's daddy, when the moment dipshit refused the paternity test, that angle ceased to be any kind of worthwhile story.
If Edwards was a Republican, FOX "News" wouldn't be covering the story, they'd be attacking the "liberal media" for their ridiculous attempts at character assassination. O'Reilly would be throwing all sorts of sexist slurs in Chickie's direction, accusing her of being a left-wing operative out to destroy a good Republican's life … but no, if it's a Democrat, all of a sudden totally unsubstantiated paternity accusations are "News"?! Not quite, folks.
This is rather telling though: the National Enquirer and FOX News seem to be the only two major, national news outlets who still think this load of bullshit is worth covering (after all, NPR said they were talking about the "media coverage" of the story, not the story itself). *snort*
Crawl back out of the fucking gutter, NPR … you're really not in good company on this one.
It's called "Oh shit, Obama's a decent candidate who's hard to attack. Hey look! Bill Clinton 2! Operation Smoke Screen go!"
15th August 2008 at 5:54 am | permalink |I find it quite amusing that you Americans have TV stations like FOX. If I understand it correctly that’s the republican’s trusted TV station? But what station’s the opposite, or which news programs do you trust? Y'all have these funny soundin' stations like CNN, NBC, ABC, PBS, FUCK, CUNTS etc. hehe.
15th August 2008 at 12:24 pm | permalink |I guess 60 minutes is fairly serious, or…?
By the way, did you know that during the gulf war in 90-91, FOX news sent uninterrupted news on Norwegian TV at night when regular TV was pausing? Why on flying fuckin’ shitass earth would they be doing that? …For free! On Norwegian TV..!? They showed the surgeon bombing shit and American victory, over and over again, supposedly “live”. Ain’t that propaganda, then what the fuck is?
Ok, so this sorryass politician had an affair, and there came the baby. The mother won’t let her child take a paternity test. Ok. Shouldn’t it end there? Or does FOX really have that kind of power in the American society that they can keep shit like this flowing around endlessly? Ok, shit goes on, the mother files a civil lawsuit against this politician and, SIMSALABIM, she’s all of a sudden a rich motherf….
@grimbles: Yeah, once he straight up admitted to drinking and smoking lots of pot in his youth, it kinda knocked the wind out of the scandal-seekers' sails, eh?
So, now they're whittling away at the VP contenders, perhaps hoping to paint the whole Democratic party as a degenerates' club?
@bill: FOX is 100% pure propaganda, and there is no grossly fictionalized, sensationalistic left-wing news channel that I know of. NPR (and public radio in general) is pretty well known as being left-leaning in most cases, but public radio hardly has the same reach/influence as a major TV network.
Of course the FOX News fans refer to the entire mainstream media industry as the "liberal media" (which is odd, considering how willing the media has been to go along with all of Bush's bullshit over the last 8 years …), so they'd say that FOX is the only holdout against the outright takeover of US media by socialist, left-wing, anti-American bastards like me.
15th August 2008 at 3:25 pm | permalink |Well, left-wing bitch, i salute you, and your kind.
15th August 2008 at 3:57 pm | permalink |Amazing, isn't it? We constantly seem to be so surprised when people of power have affairs. I remember the only thing that kept Clinton from getting removed from office in 99 was that Larry Flint had enough of the Republican hypocrisy and threatened to destroy the careers of key Republicans that did the same thing. He deserves a freakin' medal for stopping that. It was ridiculous then and is ridiculous now. If these guys are doing good jobs, who cares what they do in their spare time.
15th August 2008 at 5:17 pm | permalink |Sometimes I think the only reason George W. Bush made it into the White House in 2000 is that he promised to not have sex with any other woman than his wife……yet somehow I feel so screwed by him.
When are we going to see a week's worth of coverage on the front page of cnn.com about how McCain started shagging, current wife, Cindy McCain before he divorced his first wife after she was disfigured in a car accident?
15th August 2008 at 6:11 pm | permalink |@ Elie: "George W. Bush made it into the White House in 2000 is that he promised to not have sex with any other woman than his wife……yet somehow I feel so screwed by him."
Yeah, the whole world has been walking bow-legged and wincing for 8 years. *shudder*
@JF: That is one of the many things that pisses me off about McCain and the supposed journalists covering the race. He's posing as a great family man. One who left his wife cos she stopped being all purdy. Posing as the 'maverick'. Who has to ask his aid what policy is before answering whether condoms prevent AIDS.
Such glaring hypocrisy and contradiction, and it's hardly being mentioned.
15th August 2008 at 8:13 pm | permalink |@JF&grimbles – Interesting info about McCain. I'd never heard that. That's kinda scary, one that he did it, and two, it's not really being mentioned by mainstream media. Actually, no one is really talking about it.
16th August 2008 at 3:16 am | permalink |@Rick: Clearly, a case of the left wing liberal media …oh…wait…
16th August 2008 at 10:58 am | permalink |Oooh, I'm so tempted. I'm -so- tempted to write that I chose to follow your lead and post a cake recipe. I won't though, because you actually do what NPR claims to do.
I took the opportunity to mention it though, I hope you can forgive my cheek.
16th August 2008 at 11:50 am | permalink |@bill: Why thankee.
@Elie: The only reason I'd think this story was even relevant—and only while Edwards was still in the race—is because he was using morality as a talking point in his campaign.
If a candidate/elected politician doesn't talk about how other people should live their personal lives, I don't see how anything but their professional record is relevant … if they do, well, they're asking to be hung out to dry when they get caught being hypocrites.
But either way, this story is really just over. Like grimbles said, apparently they just can't find enough dirt on Obama.
@Jack: Well yes. Where's the liberal media attack dogs when you need 'em? heh
16th August 2008 at 12:48 pm | permalink |@Secateur: Cake recipe? Is it any good? Hell, good cake is more newsworthy than Chickie's B.S. paternity claims … hehehe
16th August 2008 at 1:02 pm | permalink |@alphabitch: Knowing how smart you are from other posts, this post is "unalphabitchesque." I almost thought you were being sarcastic initially. This story endures because Edwards (not Hunter) continues to tell lies. He even had the gall to suggest he has been 99% honest.
Reporters (tabloid or not matters very little) caught him ON CAMERA visiting this woman and her child at 2:30 in the morning. If it's not his, what's he doing there? Just in the neighborhood? Use your melon. If Edwards' paternity is established as fact, this scandal follows him forever. Edwards knows this and is paying her to refuse the test. She was sent $14000 by his PAC..after she stopped working for his campaign. Well-known Texas lawyer and Democratic fundraiser Fred Baron made additional cash transfers to her and to the man who she claims fathered a child she bore last February. Baron may also have helped in providing housing for Hunter after she left the campaign, first in North Carolina and then in California.
Instead of coming clean about the whole thing, Edwards (selfish prick that he is) finds a man married with his own kids to falsely claim paternity. Did I mention Edwards received a Father of the Year Award?
Why am I so pissed? Because I gave to the fucker's campaign, that's why. I thought I was battling poverty and supporting populist middle class initiatives but instead my money was being used to bring a mistress on the campaign trail.
You can filter this through the lens of other political sex scandals, and Edwards still comes out a giant douche bag. Don't excuse his behavior by dismissing it as a "bullshit scandal." He betrayed a lot of supporters and until he comes totally clean, it's a huge story.
19th August 2008 at 6:44 pm | permalink |Alphabitch is correct in stating that NPR is "pretty well known as left wing". However, I find it quite amusing (in a macabre way)that it is only viewed that way as it focuses on facts! Amazing, ain't it? Real life is too the left of our perception of what reality should be.
20th August 2008 at 8:39 am | permalink |@Haden: Why would he visit a woman who was trying to stick him with paternity? Dunno, maybe to try and convince her or negotiate with her NOT to smear him publicly?
"…additional cash transfers to her and to the man who she claims fathered a child she bore last February."
Another baby, with another guy? How many babies has this woman had with different men?! Seriously, this little tidbit right here makes me think she might actually have some serious mental/emotional problems.
If one single thing you said about what Edwards was paying people for was provable (paying her to refuse a paternity test, paying Other Campaign Staffer Dude to falsely claim paternity), it would be a hell of a story. But we don't know exactly why he paid her … I'd be willing to bet it was straight up, "go away, you crazy woman," money. And why'd he pay the other two guys ("Fake" Dad and Dad #2)? How about, "Christ, if I give you some money, will you please shack up with her and get her off my ass?!"
Seriously, after reading your comment, the first thing that came to mind was a woman I personally know who fathered two children by different men (neither of whom had any idea child-fathering was part of the plan) … who seemed to think if she got knocked up, and said "Oh, I thought about scheduling an abortion, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it," she might catch herself a husband, due to baby-daddy's sudden overwhelming wave of guilt/responsibility/stupidity. (Except Edwards' Chickie doesn't seem to be in it for marriage, she seems to be in it for attention/money.)
Now, I can understand why you'd be pissed after giving money to his campaign, and finding out he spent it trying to shut up a crazy woman he'd bonked instead of fighting poverty. Sure, I'd be pissed too. In fact, I'd love to see his contributors get together and file a class-action suit against him to get the contribution money refunded.
However, your comment basically leaves me even more convinced that this is something more like Fatal Attraction (only with a real baby, instead of a fictional boiled bunny, which makes it much sadder). Should Edwards/Michael Douglas have bonked the crazy woman? Of course not. But I hardly think Chickie is any more of a poor, wronged victim than Glenn Close's character was.
20th August 2008 at 12:33 pm | permalink |@alphabitch: Although my poorly and hastily written post makes it appear as though there are two guys in question, there is just one guy and one baby. Andrew Young, a former staffer and friend of Edwards, has claimed paternity. He has now completely disappeared from the public eye.
Although I would agree Hunter is not playing with a full deck, I think characterizing her as a some kind of crazy attention seeker is way off the mark. If she likes attention so much, where is she? She could be making the rounds of every talk show in the universe and making bank to boot.
IMO, the most plausible explanation why she is not is because the Edwards camp is paying her to disappear. Again, why is Edwards visiting this woman at 2:30 in the morning at a hotel? There are pictures of him holding the baby for fuck sake. Either the guy is completely looney tunes, or it's his baby.
Additionally, you said O'Reilly would be throwing all sorts of sexist slurs in Chickie's direction if the guy were a Republican and yet you do the same exact thing (bizzarro attention-seeking slut) presumably because he's a Democrat.
Although I was an Edwards supporter, I can take of the partisan goggles on this one. Edwards is egomaniacal bag of shite.
On a side note, The Enquirer is surprisingly good at reporting on these kinds of stories, and it has a decent track record with them. It was the Enquirer that published the photo of Donna Rice sitting on Gary Hart's lap. It was also the Enquirer that broke the story of Rush Limbaugh's addiction to painkillers.
20th August 2008 at 1:07 pm | permalink |@Haden: OK, you said "… the man who she claims fathered a child she bore last February," so that's where I got confused, because SHE claims Edwards did it.
So, "the man who claims he fathered the child in question," more to the point. Which, frankly, does make her sound a bit less crazy, but by no means stable either way. 
I don't doubt Edwards is paying her to go away … I'd do just about anything to get rid of her myself. Of course, if I was Edwards, I would have also used a condom, and spermicidal lube, and made sure she was on some kind of *reliable* birth control method before I went sticking my dick in her … so, y'know, my perceptions often vary from those of others.
Now, as for Edwards being an egomaniacal bag of shite, why certainly he is. Any man who has affairs while preaching morality has to be some kind of egomaniac, as well as a screaming hypocrite, which does put him firmly in the "bag of shite" category, IMO (hell, anyone who runs for President would have to be an egomaniac). However, barring a paternity test (and I'm sorry, but if Edwards is actually paying her NOT to have the test, I'm sure the Enquirer would match Edwards' bid to settle this. hehe), I'm not prepared to say anything about fathering a child and denying it, because we don't know if he actually did or not.
Oh, and I'd totally be calling the bimbo in question names if she'd gotten knocked up by a Republican. Unlike O'Reilly, I can actually be equally cruel to either political camp, should the need arise. hehe
20th August 2008 at 2:18 pm | permalink |@AB: I totally agree that the Enquirer could match any money that Edwards is paying her. Once again, this begs the question. Why isn't she taking it? Why isn't she milking her 15 seconds of fame?
If she's just some trollop who basically whored herself out to Edwards and then leaked the affair to the Enquirer to get attention, why stop now? What does she have to lose by taking the paternity test and then doing talk show circuit.
I can only think of two explanations. One is that she's in negotiations for some kind of exclusive tell-all and it's just a matter of time before she cashes in.
The other, which I think is simpler and thus more plausible, is that she's doing everything she can to save the career of her child's father. According to some reports, she loves the guy and has hopes that she could be the next Mrs. Edwards. So yes, she's crazy but apparently not an attention seeker.
20th August 2008 at 2:45 pm | permalink |@Haden: OK, maybe she's not after attention … maybe she really is after marriage. Which makes her sound more like the batshit crazy chick I know all over again. lol
But if she gave half a fuck about Edwards' career, she never would have gone public … unless (and here we get back to the batshit crazy thing again), she thought Edwards' wife would leave him, and he'd either come crying on her shoulder, or he'd feel obligated to the baby and suddenly realize he loved her. Y'know, like a trashy romance novel, or really bad movie.
So, here's where I'm leaning now: She's fucking delusional. He's just egomaniacal and stupid.
Either way, i don't call it news.
20th August 2008 at 3:07 pm | permalink |Hunter didn't go public with the affair. It was either a friend or possibly her sister who took the payday.
Reports are coming out that she is getting $15,000 per month and Young (the alleged dad) is getting $20,000.
If this were just a sex scandal, I would agree that it's not news. A politician having an affair is lions in Africa. The potential "hush money" takes it into the realm of financial corruption/fraud. Until this angle reaches a conclusion, it's going to stay in the headlines.
21st August 2008 at 1:18 pm | permalink |@Haden: Like I said in the post, if they'd been talking about the money angle, that would be a story. But all I keep hearing is, "ZOMG!!! He had an affair!!! And maybe a baby too!!!" And IMO, that's irrelevant family bullshit between him, his wife, his delusional ex-mistress, and the incompetent sex-ed teachers he and Hunter apparently had as schoolkids.
The money angle IS the only story here. Notice the title isn't, "Shut up about Edwards sending ten of thousands of dollars of campaign money to his mistress, already!"
21st August 2008 at 3:59 pm | permalink |In response to Bill about what television network american's should trust… In all honest Comedy Central gives the most honest news with jon stewart… Even stephen Carbert "who isn't a repbulican at all just acts like one for the sake of making fun of them" is more acurate than 95% of the stations here.
The biggest problem is america is that everything we hear, see and experience is most likely bullshit set to manipulate us. The newspapers, news stations, everything is propaganda here.
The US learned very important lessons along time.
1. I big lie told to the mass will pass as truth to most of them
2. Winners and the Rich write history, history has nothing to do with it anymore. There are people in the southern states of the US who think the south won the civil war…
3. As long as you keep on telling the public the same story over and over most will believe it as fact
4. If theres a scandal involved or what can be "percieved" as a scandal we are all for eating it up… "when I see we I mean american's in general not myself".
I have dual citizenship in the US and Japan and im a white male, I'm just waiting for the day this country finally does go to hell. But fortunatly Bush and Mccain have set that back for awhile…
Great website by the way, don't agree with everything on it but if the news was this "real" I think there would be public lynchings for 95% of politicians and high level corporate employees… Which in all reality is almost needed at this point.
23rd December 2008 at 8:38 am | permalink |