Debates: McPalin = LOSE
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Yeah. Wow. How Palin/McCain are still in the race after Palin's interviews with Katie Couric, I did not understand. How McPalin is still in the race after those two debates, I find even more deeply and brain-meltingly baffling.
Seriously.
But there they are, and the only conclusion I can reach is that they're being kept afloat by voters who really don't understand fuck-all about the world they live in and/or just don't pay attention to anything but the (R) or (D) next to a candidate's name when they punch their ballots.
On the Presidential Debate:
Obama prepared for the debate. McCain didn't. It showed. Obama has made the effort required to understand the economic issues facing our country. McCain hasn't. It showed. McCain has trouble thinking on his feet well enough to say anything he hasn't already recited a hundred times. It showed.
McCain couldn't counter Obama's repeated remarks about our utter failure to devote enough resources to Afghanistan to keep it from slowly imploding and ending up back in the hands of the Taliban … in spite of the fact that he's supposedly the big foreign policy/military expert of the two. His answers on Iraq were a study in willful amnesia, as he stammered in circles and failed to really say anything but "the surge is working" and sputter a bunch of vague crap about our soldiers coming home with honor and victory.
He wasted time playing ridiculous semantic games, trying to say Obama doesn't understand the difference between a tactic and a strategy (irrelevant? I think so.) and apparently becoming hopelessly (deliberately) confused about the difference between "preconditions" and "preparation", as he tried to imply Obama was planning to meet with foreign leaders without doing any of the latter.
One of my favorite McCain moments of the debate:
The Iranians have a lousy government, therefore their economy is lousy.
So, lousy government = lousy economy. What, exactly, does that say about the quality of governance we've received from BushCo, who Mr. Maverick has voted in lockstep with 90% of the time? Hmm. Yes.
Or maybe he'd give the "fundamentals of the economy are strong" line again … in which case one wonders why he felt the need to throw a big prima-donna fit, "suspend" his campaign, threaten to skip the debate, and rush to Washington as though the bullshit "let's give Wall Street a $700bn bonus for fucking us all over" bailout package couldn't happen without his help? Oh. Maybe because the economy actually sucks… and as long as it's busy sucking so badly, why not take the opportunity to do a little grandstanding?
McCain is an empty shell of a man. If he ever was a maverick, he certainly isn't now. And he's old … whether or not he's in good health (and given that he won't release his medical records, who knows?), he's still fucking old. Mind you, I'm not saying old people don't belong in office, but when you're that old, the least you can do is have a good backup plan. Sarah Palin, on the other hand, is … well … a fucking moron.
On the Vice Presidential Debate
Sarah Palin is an empty-headed fucking windup toy, who couldn't speak her way out of a paper bag, unless you let her play with the paper bag ahead of time, explained to her exactly what she needs to say to get out of it, and give her time to memorize it all.
During the VP debate, Palin completely failed to answer almost all of the questions. Why? Because I suspect she was under orders not to say a single fucking word that hadn't been drilled into her head ahead of time by her debate coaches, so if Gwen Ifill's debate questions didn't turn out exactly the same as Palin's practice questions, poor Sarah actually didn't have any clue what her answer was supposed to be.
Here's how I imagine Palin's debate coaches doing it: First Palin's coaches give her flashcards. Each one has a keyword on one side, and her approved response on the other. Palin gets quizzed via flashcard 12 hours a day until she has all the responses memorized. Once the answers are firmly crammed into the echo chamber between her ears, the coaches start shouting words at her randomly, without any warning, and she has to assemble an answer based on the flashcard outlines for the corresponding words, like a verbal mix-and-match game (I would also like to imagine she got an electric shock every time she gave a wrong answer, but sadly, I doubt it).
After the utter empty-headedness she showed the world during her Katie Couric interviews, the McPalin handlers decided it would be better to return to her tried-and-true "Same Speech, Different Lipstick" approach. They stuffed her head with talking points and she regurgitated them, rather than allowing her to risk even five seconds of unscripted thought.
Joe Biden was debating Manchurian Candidate Barbie: when a trigger word hits her eardrum, her mouth goes on autopilot … Palin did not come up with one single, original, extemporaneous remark during the entire debate. Gwen Ifill's questions may never have even made it past Palin's auditory cortex to be processed into coherent sentences.
So, I guess the big question really … since McCain has conveniently started toeing the Party line like a good boy, nevermind all that "maverick" nonsense, and Palin can be coached to say whatever she's told to say, whether it makes any sense in context or not … is who we'd actually have in the White House if these two asshole puppets get elected?
@alpha - "just don't pay attention to anything but the (R) or (D) next to a candidate's name when they punch their ballots."
I think that sums it up right there. It's un-fucking believable to me. Soooo many people out there fit that description (on both sides of the fence). People can/do talk themselves into believing anything, reality be damned.
4th October 2008 at 7:30 am | permalink |While I agree that, to a thinking person, McCain and Palin clearly lost the debates, many people don't think. To convince those people, Obama needs to hit harder.
For example, when McCain says 'Senator Obama is soft on defense,' Obama needs to say, 'Oh is that so? That hurts coming from the guys who left our country open to terrorist attack in the first place, then LET BIN LADEN GO and started a war in the wrong country, then failed to catch him for 7 years. September 11 wasn't just Bin Laden's fault, it was YOUR FAULT. Because you and the rest of the republicans in power should have stopped it. You failed to prevent the September 11th attacks, you failed to catch the Bin Laden, you failed to end the War in Iraq, you failed to win in Afghanistan, you failed to prevent the current economic collapse. You're a failure, not a Maverick. You don't get to call yourself experienced when you keep screwing up. Now shut the fuck up before you do anymore damage.'
Dammit, I gotta post this on my blog…
4th October 2008 at 9:10 am | permalink |"Also John, you're a whiney bitch.
…
And you're right."
4th October 2008 at 5:07 pm | permalink |Yeah, and what I still don't understand is why my neighbors on both sides of me are voting McCain. I'm in Ohio, supposedly one of the "big battleground" states, there poverty all around us. Massive amounts of unemployment and home prices dropping like a lead balloon, yet there still seems to be a sizable number of people here who feel McCain is going to do different than Bush. Don't understand that at all. McCain/Palin/every other Republican is running against themselves and no one around here seems to notice!
4th October 2008 at 5:20 pm | permalink |@Rick: Fucking depressing, isn't it?
@Kavan: Yeah, that reminds me of an email I got a while ago:
I say that because I've noticed recently that KFC is trying to get everything on their menu either on a bun, in a bowl, or wrapped up in a tortilla and Taco Bell has adapted to today's busy lifestyle by gluing all their food together with cheese.. Why? Because if people can't cram it down their pieholes between stoplights without getting it all over the seat, they're just not going to buy it.. Period. Who sits down at their desk or in their cars with a knife and fork and enjoys a two piece breast and wing meal with green beans, mashed potatoes, and a biscuit?
Nobody…that's who.
Politics today are exactly the same, and the Democrats have a long history of offering up seven course meals against the Republicans' grab'n'go "cheese rollups" — and they lose! Yes, it's true that a cheese rollup consists solely of microwave-melted cheese in a stale tortilla, and that a seven course meal is ultimately better than one or five cheese rollups, but you can eat a cheese rollup in like…12 seconds. And when you're done, you're not hungry anymore!
Constipated, maybe.. But not hungry.. Malnutritioned? Absolutely — but you're stuffed!
That's all people have time for.. They've got about 12 seconds to get their fill of politics for the day, and whatever makes them feel like they've gotten their fill in the shortest possible time is what they'll choose, hands down..
So, Barack Obama.. Next time you're asked when life begins, don't spend too much time ruminating on it and end by saying that it's above your pay grade.. Just say "Only God knows the answer to that question" — and be done with it!
That's how you put it in a tortilla.
@Elie: People don't notice an awful lot of things you'd think they ought to deem important. Again: depressing, eh?
5th October 2008 at 3:31 am | permalink |She’s one scary twat that Palin gal, with her miss congeniality, pentecostal, hockey mom, smoked marijuana but “didn’t like it”, warmonger, guns for everyone, onegal lipstick army!
5th October 2008 at 5:55 am | permalink |This saphead might be president, and that scares me shitless.
Also, I often wonder how these religious freaks deal with the sixth (or fifth depending on religion)commandment? Is it like uh, eh, “Thou shalt not kill” (uh, eh, unless we’re talking about, like, filthy, bearded Muslims or, like, uh godforsaken communists. Then it’s ok to kill effortlessly without thinking twice?) Someone please fill me in on that one ;-)
When it comes to “rescuing” Wall Street, that’s a tricky one. On one hand you don’t want to give these greedy assholes a goddamned cent. On the other hand you don’t want regular people to suffer because those grabby bastards on Wall Street fucked up big time.
So, my American friends. Please, PLEASE don’t vote for the “old boys' network” and Sarah “Shiny object” Palin next month, I want to live a little bit longer! :-)
Anyone see SNL last night? Tina Feys portrayal of her was great.
5th October 2008 at 4:47 pm | permalink |What debates were you all watching?
The little sign above says it all: You all belong in the kitchen. Obama will bury you…after you dig your grave, of course.
5th October 2008 at 6:02 pm | permalink |@bill: Yeah, she's fucking terrifying, isn't she? Ugh.
@DavidGX: I was just about to post it. :-)
@Dave Watson: If that's the case, Palin belongs in the kitchen too, no?
6th October 2008 at 2:50 am | permalink |Yeah AB, she is. And now she’s claiming that Obama hangs with terrorist Bill Ayers from “Weather Underground Organization”. What she fails to mention is that Obama was a small kid when these guys blew up buildings during the sixties and seventies, and that Obama has condemned these actions. That’s kind of low, isn’t it?
6th October 2008 at 3:41 am | permalink |"they're being kept afloat by voters who really don't understand fuck-all about the world they live in"
I've found that most people have troubles ordering a slice of pizza, let alone understand anything about the world in which they live.
—
8th October 2008 at 5:50 am | permalink |I'm serious, I sat in a pizza shop and watched these idiots trying to order food. It was deeply depressing to realize (again, actually) that the average "Joe Sixpack" is a FUCKING MORON. No wonder I don't go out much.
Palin is a fucking twit and the thought that she could be president [when/if McCain dies] scares the ever-living shit out of me.
I don't want "one of us" governing the country. I want someone SMARTER than the average "Joe Six-Pack" to provide guidance. We have had an intellectually stunted [read: moron] man leading this country in the wrong direction for 8 goddamn years. It is time to give someone with a BRAIN a chance. I am so set with having someone in office who thinks the war in Iraq is "a task from God" and that we are carrying out "God's plan". Fuck that shit. I don't want the future of my native country in the hands of your faith. Believe what you want, but please remove your Jesus literature from my throat, kthnx.
In the debates last night, McCain looked like a crazed speed freak. He was agitated, all over the place, blinking like crazy, and became very aggressive by the end of it. He stared at Obama like he wanted to pull a "Silence of the Lambs" scene with his skin.
If this had been four years ago, I would have said there is no fucking way that Obama could lose. Unfortunately, that is also what I thought about Bush in 2004… apparently I underestimated the stupidity of the average "Joe Six-Pack".
17th October 2008 at 3:06 pm | permalink |