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Boy oh boy, do I love it when talking-head types get caught off guard. I mean, we all know they're humans, with opinions that aren't always sanitary and diplomatic, but it's not often you get to hear one of 'em say swear words…

…I guess Sarah Palin is just proving to be a particularly "inspirational" figure to the political pundit community? Continue reading for the transcript: [continued …]

Sarah Palin's Alaskan. What the fuck does that mean? It means a few things, as far as I can tell:

1. She's very tolerant of cold weather
2. She probably won't be bursting into tears on the campaign trail like Geraldine or Hillary. This is, of course, a total stereotype … but really, girls up here don't tend to be terribly thin-skinned. Perhaps it's a side effect of the weather?
3. I am supposed to be a big expert on her, because I'm Alaskan too.

Here's roughly what my take on the last gubernatorial election here in Alaska was: "Please, dear god, let the Republicans pick ANYONE BUT FUCKING FRANK MURKOWSKI in the primaries, PLEASE!" Which they did. They picked Sarah. Which says a lot for how much beloved our long-time Senator-cum-one-term-Governor, good ol' Frank, really was. It also says a lot for Sarah's spinal resilience, because Frank Murkowski was an absolute fuck, and as much of an asshole as he could get away with through the entire primary. So yeah, I do give her a little respect for winning that race.

And then the primaries were over, and I thought to myself, "Fan-fucking-tastic, we have a pro-life, pro-oil drilling Republican on one side, and a pro-oil drilling corporate whore Democrat on the other," (That would be Tony Knowles, the former governor who managed to lose the previous US Senate race to Lisa "Daddy's Girl" Murkowski—who was appointed by Frank "Fuckface" Murkowski when he decided to run for governor—because you can't serve three consecutive terms as AK governor), and figuring that we'd be fucked either way, but at least Murkowski was out of the picture, I voted Green Party.

So, what about Sarah Palin? She's a typical Alaska Republican. Pro-oil industry, pro-mining industry, anti-abortion. She is atypical in that she's actually somewhat supportive of small business*, and she spends far too much time fixing her hair in the morning. Other than that? She's not as inclined to blatantly grovel at the feet of every corporate interest who wipes their feet on her doormat as Murkowski was (or any of our current Congressional delegation, for that matter).

*with the exception of Bristol Bay salmon fishermen, who are about to see their livelihoods poisoned by a giant mine development project at the headwaters of the Bristol Bay salmon fishery. I was rather surprised, actually, by how utterly unconcerned she's turned out to be about environmental issues that affect the fishing industry and native subsistence rights, given that her husband is part native Alaskan, and worked in the fishing industry for years. [continued …]

By now, any politically active American is well aware that John McCain doesn't know how many houses he owns. True quote, when asked:

"I think — I'll have my staff get to you. It's condominiums where — I'll have them get to you."

Later, his staff said, "at least four." [emphasis mine] Politico dug up eight. Obama's running an ad that says seven. Seems the man has so many fucking houses, nobody can keep track of them all.

This from a man who also doesn't know whether or not condoms help prevent HIV transmission, and has to ask his staff what his position on birth control is.

What's the deal here? I don't think McCain's a moron … is he just so terrified of pissing off the Republican Right that he can't speak for himself? Lord knows THAT'S exactly what I want in a President. Or is he so fucking senile that he can't function independently? Another excellent leadership trait … Or maybe he's just been so fucking rich for so fucking long, he forgot how to do anything for himself?

Either way, I'm thinking he should change the name of his campaign vehicle from the Straight Talk Express to the Amnesia Express.

So, for the umpteenth time, I get to checkout at an online store. Their shipping policy says they ship to the "Continental US and Canada," so I figure I'm good to go, considering Alaska is BOTH part of the "Continental US" AND attached to the Western edge of Canada …

… and once again, whether these people are geographically illiterate, linguistically ignorant, or just don't understand how shipping companies work, I discover that they DON'T ship to Alaska.

So, here's a little fucking vocabulary/geography/shipping lesson, should any of these ignoramuses ever stumble across this little site here:

Continental

1. Of, relating to, or characteristic of a continent.

Contiguous

1. Sharing an edge or boundary; touching.
2. Neighboring; adjacent.
3.a. Connecting without a break: the 48 contiguous states.

OK, so "Continental US" refers to the United States that are located on the North American continent. Canada is part of North America, and Alaska is attached to Canada*, THEREFORE Alaska is ALSO part of North America, THEREBY making it part of the Continental US.

"Contiguous US" on the other hand, refers to the 48 United States that share borders with one another. Alaska and Hawaii do NOT share a border with any other US state, therefore they are NOT part of the Contiguous US.

Update your fucking shipping policy page if you don't ship to Alaska, dumbfuck. You do NOT ship to the continental US, you ignorant fucking asshole. I'm amazed you know how to use a computer well enough to operate an online store … even through Yahoo. [continued …]

The site layout is totally borked … I know. [edit]OK, so the site layout was totally borked last night for a few hours, until grimbles commented on it … then I uploaded an old stylesheet from a few months ago, and waited for the hosting company to restore it from Friday's backup (which they were going to charge me $125 to do), only to discover than they don't have any admins working on Sundays. So much for 24hr/7day tech support, eh?

So that's what I spent my Sunday doing … whee!

That's what I get for editing three different site templates at the same time (and deleting my WordPress Automatic Upgrade backups without downloading them first). My bad.

… your patience is was appreciated. A prescription for some ADD meds would probably also be helpful. heh

Unlike the Obama bumperstickers I posted a while ago, these buttons don't imply the ownership of a car, or raise any questionable associations about energy conservation … unless you count the fuel needed by the post office to deliver them, but considering the mailman is going to come by your house every day anyhow, I really doubt one little button is going to make a noticeable difference. hehe

I like the retro style on these buttons … it's a nice change from the super-slick graphic design Obama's campaign uses on their official stuff. MoveOn.org says they're giving away 1,000,000 Obama buttons, so I don't know that you exactly have to "hurry" to get one this time … ;-)

OK, so I'm on my way to work the other day, and I turn on NPR "Talk of the Nation" (usually an interesting take on mainstream news, or stories you don't hear about elsewhere) … and they're talking about John fucking Edwards' big affair/illegitimate baby bullshit scandal, with (this is the good part) the "Executive Editor" of the National fucking ENQUIRER! What the fuck?! I turn on public radio so I don't have to listen to vacuous bullshit on the ~40min. drive to the office!

So yeah. Here I am, listening to a couple of "serious" journalists discussing a nonsense scandal story with the editor of the biggest bullshit gossip rag in the US … who's bullshit gossip rag was the one who "broke" the big story. (For those of you who aren't up on trashy US "newspapers", the National Enquirer pays their sources for stories … as though that isn't motivation enough for some bizzarro attention-seeking slut to start talking shit.)

Here's the bare bones rundown of the situation: Ex-campaign Staffer Chickie (Rielle Hunter) tells the National Enquirer that she had an affair with John Edwards back in 2006, and she had his baby. Edwards admits the affair, denies being the father of the baby, and offers to take a paternity test. Ex-campaign Staffer Dude says the baby is his (apparently Chickie was quite the friendly videographer?). Chickie refuses to get a paternity test on the baby. [continued …]

Y'know, I don't want to like Paris Hilton. I really, really, really don't. But after seeing this video … um … I think my brain just imploded.

If you've seen McCain's "celebrity" attack ad—implying Obama is just a shallow celebrity with no leadership ability, by way of implicitly comparing him to Paris Hilton—this little spoof might even make you like Ms. Hilton a little.

See McCain's original ad … [continued …]

Protection from our own Government: The Ridiculous Pretense for Gun Ownership

guest post by Kavan Wolfe

As far as I have seen, detractors of gun control advance three basic arguments:

1. People need guns to defend themselves and their families against other people
2. People need guns to defend their country during an invasion
3. People need guns to defend themselves against a tyrannical government

Today, I am going to discuss the third argument. I am not going to talk about the Second Amendment to the United States Constitution, because 1) the gun control argument applies to all nations, not just the US and 2) the issue is whether people should have the right to have guns, not whether people do have said right.

Military Cohesion

So what are we really talking about here? There are basically two ways a country can get a tyrannical government: by military force (invasion or coup d'état) or the elected government becomes tyrannical. In either case, if the government does not control the majority of the military, there will likely be a(nother) coup, or a civil war. Therefore, the situation in which the people allegedly need guns to defend themselves against a tyrannical government is a situation where the military is (substantially) backing the government.

Any fantasies about substantial segments of the military joining with civilian militias in a revolt is just that: fantasy. The only realistic options are coup, civil war or military versus militias.

Weapons and Effective Soldier-to-Civilian Ratio

From Roman times through the middle ages, soldiers carried swords, spears and other melee weapons. One-on-one, a soldier with a sword has a huge advantage against a peasant with, say, a club, but if there are two or three peasants, the odds get a bit more even. Even a European knight with full plate armor and a broadsword is in trouble if it’s five- or ten-to-one. Similarly, one-on-one a modern professional soldier with his assault rifle and body armor has a significant advantage against a civilian with, say, a hunting rifle or a semi-automatic handgun; however, against five or ten small-arms-equipped civilians, the modern soldier is in trouble.

However, the modern military is not simply equipped with assault rifles. The modern military has howitzers, tanks, armored troop transports, attack choppers, fighter planes, stealth bombers, aircraft carriers, nuclear, chemical and biological weapons. This changes the ratio of civilians to soldiers at which military superiority can be maintained. To be more precise, no amount of common gunslingers is any match for a single F-15, let alone an entire aircraft carrier.

This is not about assault rifles. For militias to be effective against a tyrannical government backed by a modern military, the militia would need modern weapons — is anybody seriously suggesting to legalize personal ownership of nuclear missiles???
[continued …]

Yup. You read the headline right. Six human feet have washed up on shore near Vancouver island. What. The. Fuck.

from the Times Colonist