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Yup. You read the headline right. Six human feet have washed up on shore near Vancouver island. What. The. Fuck.

from the Times Colonist

So, folks have been asking now and then about opening f*cking c*nts to guest posts for a while … and I've finally decided it's a good idea. :-) At first, my inner control freak cringed at the thought, but what the hell, it'll be interesting.

So, coming up soon, myself and regular visitor Kavan Wolfe will be sharing our thoughts on gun control … I'll post his piece here, with an excerpt from my response, linked back to the full version on his site.

The really great part? We disagree!

If you've got a blog, and you'd like to swap posts, email me and suggest a topic… bonus points if we hold differing opinions on the subject. ;-)

What is it with the religious nuts this week?! From a completely apolitical, secular barter/trade email list being bombarded by the forces of righteousness, to a troll on an old post who took the 'debate' to email, all of a sudden the bizarro arguments are everywhere.

In response to the email list Bible Humpers who emailed me privately (due to other list members started complaining about the ongoing OT bickering), I actually wrote detailed, personal rebuttals, and emailed them back. They never responded, and honestly, since one of them seemed to be the sort of dedicated Humper who can pull bible verses out of her ass on a moment's notice, I really wanted to see what she'd come up with for Round 2.

So, I figured, since the scriptural quote-sters tucked tail and ran, I'd just reprint it all here, for everyone's enjoyment!

So yeah, I'm on this little garagesale/barter/trade sort of email list. A long time ago, the members voted that you could advertise home-based/small businesses on the list, once a month. So, one woman started posting this, once a month:

Now, that's pretty damn subtle, if you ask me … especially for a group listed in the "Adult" section of Yahoo Groups. But nonetheless, a Bible Humper got her starched granny panties all in a twist, and after a brief debate about whether or not people were allowed to advertise small business at all, she posted this to the list, to straighten us ALL out:

The dynamics of this group have changed as new people have joined and old people have asked to be removed or have moved away. That was then, this is now, and most of us want this to be a family friendly G-PG site. There's nothing that limits the individual from advertising at the bottom of their email their home-based business, we just don't want to be solicited to. As [another lister] pointed out , there are other Fairbanks and yahoo sites to advertise home-based businesses on. There's a reason people feel ashamed about adult toys because it's morally wrong to please yourself sexually despite what is "popular" with society. If you want smut go to the adult store and face your shameful behavior. Sincerely, Mrs. Holier-than-Thou

Now, the torrent of "shut up you moralizing cow" replies almost convinced me to leave well enough alone, until another Humper popped up with a bunch of verses about God's Judgement™, and then threw in a line about the whole "Christian Nation" thing …

… so, I had to throw my hat in on the list: [continued …]

In response to my last post, Kavan Wolfe asked, "Why do people vote for idiots?" … I was about to launch into my version of the facts of the matter, but I realize HL Mencken said it all back in 1920, prompted by a discussion of the presidential race between Warren Harding and James M. Cox:

[continued …]

OK, I think I finally understand the whole abstinence-only education thing. I really do. It's not so much about morals, or religion, or anything pseudo-virtuous like that. It's just because the Republican hard-liners don't know jack shit about birth control.

As a misbegotten icon of the Idiot Right Wing movement, here's Bill O'Reilly on insurance companies covering birth control vs. Viagra:

OK, listen up. Viagra is used to help a medical condition. That’s why it’s covered. Birth control is not a medical condition. It is a choice. Why should I or anybody else have to pay for other people’s choices? Do I have to buy you dinner before you use the birth control? (from thinkprogress.org)

Pregnancy isn't a medical condition? Really? Why do we have doctors who specialize in prenatal care, if pregnancy isn't a medical condition? Having sex in the first place is a choice … if an impotent dude wants to have sex, why should I have to pay for that? And need I actually point out that a lot of women are prescribed birth control pills for medical reasons other than contraception?

Of course it's no surprise that Bill O'Reilly doesn't fucking get it. He doesn't get anything … LOOFAHS?! For fuck's sake! (And of course, on a strictly financial note, birth control is a FUCK of a lot cheaper than prenatal care … but maybe O'Reilly isn't so good at math either?)

So why was the beady-eyed little monkey-fucker talking about over-his-head topics like insurance in the first place? Because a few days ago, John McCain said he didn't know whether it was fair for an insurance company to cover Viagra but not birth control …

Watch him choke on the question:

He doesn't remember his 2003 vote against requiring insurance coverage for birth control … and it's not an issue he's given much thought to.

Now, really, I understand that if you're asked a question about a complicated policy issue, and you haven't studied up on it, it's perfectly fair to say you're not familiar with it, and you'll get back to the reporter on that issue. But this isn't exactly middle east diplomacy here … it's a plain and simple question as to whether or not it's fair to pay for old men's boners, but not pay for their girlfriends' and wives' ability to help the old guy enjoy the boner without getting knocked up.

Perhaps we shouldn't be surprised though … just last year, McCain said he was "stumped" when asked whether or not condoms help prevent the spread of HIV:
[continued …]

An important question for anyone to ponder at the outset of a new relationship:

Indeed. Perhaps as important for the person being asked as for the one doing the asking. ;-)

So I sent the Obama campaign a little note today, after reading a nice little article on the more than 2-1 vote in favor of allowing the government to spy on any American who chooses to communicate with someone overseas, and grant immunity to the telecom companies who helped them do it before the fucking spineless worms that pass for Democrats in Congress actually made it legal (aka FISA 2008). Basically, I said I was disgusted, and wouldn't be donating any more money.

I mean really, Obama. Come the fuck ON here. Oh, you're Mr. Change, are you, you fucking pathetic political coward? THAT'S what you fucking call CHANGE?! Voting the BushCo party line, and then giving some lame excuse about it being "the best we could do"?! A filibuster would have been the best you, personally, could have done. Y'know, the filibuster you promised in regards to this particular bill?

Did your new buddies at Bilderberg convince you that the whole "change" shtick is overrated? Or are you really just that much of a lying fucking pathetic turncoat, who just happens to be a better actor than Hillary?

Well, y'know, people change their minds and all … here's some of what Obama had to say about his change of heart:

The ability to monitor and track individuals who want to attack the United States is a vital counter-terrorism tool, and I'm persuaded that it is necessary to keep the American people safe — particularly since certain electronic surveillance orders will begin to expire later this summer. Given the choice between voting for an improved yet imperfect bill, and losing important surveillance tools, I've chosen to support the current compromise. I do so with the firm intention — once I’m sworn in as President — to have my Attorney General conduct a comprehensive review of all our surveillance programs, and to make further recommendations on any steps needed to preserve civil liberties and to prevent executive branch abuse in the future.

Now, I've always believed that it's better to have politicians who are willing to change their positions in the face of new evidence, than have 'em stick to their badly-aimed guns just so nobody accuses them of "waffling" … but to me, that paragraph sounds like code for:

I'm paying lip-service to the right-wing's fear-mongering campaign, because I've realized that Fox News and the McCain campaign really can win votes by convincing people I'm "soft on terror". Given the choice between standing up for my principles — along with the supporters who have funded my campaign, and who almost unanimously want a significant departure from Bush's policies — and selling out my beliefs & my supporters in the hopes that I can win over some of McCain's votes without losing too many of my loyalists (because c'mon, who else do the progressives have to vote for?!), I've chosen to sell out. I do so with the dubious assurance — once I don't have to worry about FOX, McCain, et al., eroding my support among moderates — that I will find some way of making you think I went back and fixed it.

[continued …]

Ahh yes. That special day of the year when even Americans who don't normally run around pumping up how wonderful and flawless and fantabulous their country is, get misty-eyed when they hear the national anthem.

Also, the day when people who genuinely don't give a fuck get a day off of work to play with explosives while drinking huge quantities of beer.

Happy 4th, everyone!

See now, THIS is what a rape case should look like:

A 23-year-old woman in Heidelberg saved herself from a rapist by biting his penis, police said on Thursday. [...] Police said the man, approximately 30-years-old, tried to force the woman to perform oral sex on him, but she bit his penis and fled.

Investigators believe that the man was injured severely enough that needed to seek medical care, which could provide leads in the case.

Hell yeah, woman!

From The Local, Germany's News in English

So yeah, you may have noticed I've gotten into another bit of a posting lull. Which sucks. I prefer to update the site at least three times a week, but yet another month has come down to bill crunch time, and once again, I am having to divert most of my time towards more profitable pursuits.

That said, I'd really like this site to become one of those profitable pursuits … and to that end, I have opened a CafePress bumper sticker store. :-) There are only 7 designs in there right now, but I've got more ideas percolating as we speak.

So! Help me out, and offend your neighbors at the same time! BUY A F*CKING BUMPER STICKER!