On the Web: Abstinence Education for Boys & Girls
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I really wish these two sites were a lot bigger … the funny doesn't last long enough:
a testimonial from Crystal F.: "I used to suffer terribly from dirty dreams about boys. Thankfully, now my Iron Hymen Libido-Be-Gone™ thong panties keep my dreams clean – and my yucky cooter bone-dry!"
a testimonial from Zach P.: "Premarital sex isn't worth it! You can catch AIDS, or cancer, or testicle weevils, or a bad body image or rickets. You know what IS worth it? Making love to Jesus. Because you can't knock Him up and He'll never ask what you're thinking – cuz He already knows!"
O_o Ha Ha Ha Just to much!
2nd June 2008 at 6:22 pm | permalink |"keep… my yucky cooter bone dry"
That phrase alone has driven me to (albeit temporary) abstinence.
3rd June 2008 at 1:34 am | permalink |@DAVE: It's wonderful, isn't it?
@Pettsvaldo: Yeah, I think I'll be abstinent until at least this weekend. hehehe
3rd June 2008 at 2:32 am | permalink |Fucking hell! This is a joke, right?
3rd June 2008 at 8:48 am | permalink |It's brilliant :D
3rd June 2008 at 10:41 am | permalink |The Abstinence Pledges the sites have on the right hand side have got to be some of the funniest goddamn things I have read in a long long time. Thank you for sharing these fucking hilarious sites. You, ma'am, are a God.
3rd June 2008 at 3:51 pm | permalink |@Phil: I can't imagine Laura Bush actually saying the shit they credit her with saying on the Iron Hymen site … ;-)
@DAVE: You can see why I wish the sites were a bit more elaborate, eh? hehe
@Tony: Glad to share. :-D
3rd June 2008 at 4:08 pm | permalink |o.O
wow. Fucking fantastic way to end my day, I can't breath I'm laughing so hard. Where do you find these sites?
3rd June 2008 at 4:47 pm | permalink |@Jen: My sister found these two … no idea where she stumbled across 'em. :)
3rd June 2008 at 5:04 pm | permalink |Someone linked to the Iron Hymen site through a DamnPortlanders post on LiveJournal =) Aren't they made out of pure awesome?!?
4th June 2008 at 8:19 am | permalink |@TheSister: Yes, but not enough awesome. ;-)
4th June 2008 at 11:23 am | permalink |Okay 'Iron Hymen' is funny - but 'Sex is for Fags' I'm not so sure about.
4th June 2008 at 3:33 pm | permalink |I dunno … I think the content of Iron Hymen is funnier, but the phrase "Sex is for Fags" is way funnier by itself.
4th June 2008 at 3:45 pm | permalink |