a couple random gripes
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- Smuckers Strawberry Jam
- Smuckers strawberry jam lists "strawberries" as the first ingredient. Sounds nice, eh? But then the next three ingredients are (if I recall correctly), sugar, high fructose corn syrup and fructose. Why in heaven's name would they need THREE DIFFERENT KINDS of sugar? I'm betting it's because if they only used one kind of sugar/sweetener, they'd have to list it first on the ingredients list. And that wouldn't look nearly as wholesome. Lying fuckheads.
- Automated Phone Systems
- If your fucking brainless phone-automaton already asked for my phone number/account number/zip code/whatever, why in the fuck does your brainless customer service rep need to ask for it again, when I get through to him/her ten minutes later?! Either let me cut straight to the human, or design a phone system that actually forwards the info I've already given you to the poor numbnut I finally end up talking to. (Oh, and don't ask me to designate an account-access password for greater security, and then make me repeat it TWICE over the phone before I can get any help with my account. Talking out loud is not a secure method of password transmission, dipshit.)
"would you repeat your password"
"…."
"I didn't understand that. Would you repeat your password?"
"….THONGLORD5542 ALREADY DAMN!"
…that's the kind of odd crap I think of when tired and sick. Don't mind me o_O
12th February 2008 at 4:08 am | permalink |I repeated it three times for the automated system, which never did understand it, then had to repeat it again for the human.
That said, it's not quite as embarrassing as yours. ;-)
12th February 2008 at 3:15 pm | permalink |I can't even get my bank automated phone system to recognize that the last four digits of my ss are My Social Security numbers.
I hit 0 over and over until I finally get a live human being. They know my last four digits on my ss- no problem.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
12th February 2008 at 3:51 pm | permalink |I believe your theory on the labeling is 'nail on the head'.
Sure would be nice if the people who regulated food labeling weren't fucking cunts and instead listened to their conscious and crafted some useful legislation for a change that specified full disclosure of exactly what and how much 'stuff' is in food.
Common fucking sense, any sane person would think. At least I would assume that is how a sane person should think…
21st February 2008 at 10:49 pm | permalink |@garrett: There's just one problem there: "sanity" can be roughly defined as fitting within society's norms (kind of by default) … and assuming "normal" people think is often a mistake. hehehe
22nd February 2008 at 5:26 pm | permalink |there's a website database that's been around for a few years that tells you how to bypass different companies' automated phone systems. maybe you'd find it handy.
http://gethuman.com/
:)
23rd February 2008 at 4:11 am | permalink |@omi: Sweet! Thanks for the link. :-)
23rd February 2008 at 3:00 pm | permalink |Loathe automated phone systems. Just give me to the damned customer service person because if I could solve my problem by not actually talking to someone in the first place, I wouldn't be calling now would I? Even moreso, I hate when they ask you to say your number/zip code/address and they can't pick up your voice.
24th February 2008 at 10:30 am | permalink |@cole: Yeah, the day I wrote this, I was practically shouting my "password" into the phone, and was finally told by the automated system that they couldn't understand it. GAH.
24th February 2008 at 3:53 pm | permalink |I never would have considered it, but I'll bet your point about jam is right on. Sneaky bastards…
24th February 2008 at 11:39 pm | permalink |i dont really care what they put in smuckers, or what order they put it in…it goes on my toast and it tastes good, end of story.
however, its the phrases like " may contain ____ and, or ____." that keep me guessing..
again, alphabitch..keep it up…
25th February 2008 at 2:06 pm | permalink |@russ: Aren't they just?
@steve: Yeah, the idea that even the manufacturer isn't sure what's in something does give one pause … hehe
25th February 2008 at 2:43 pm | permalink |"Lying fuckheads." Ha!!! had me rolling for a good 5 mins with my strawberry jam coming out of my nose :-p
26th February 2008 at 4:13 pm | permalink |@swamijie: That sounds really uncomfortable. I'm sorry!
26th February 2008 at 5:04 pm | permalink |The strawberry jam thing is because high fructose corn syrup is waaaaay cheaper than real sugar. Being able to list strawberries as the first ingredient is just an added perk. Cost first, marketing second, especially since most consumers don't actually bother reading the labels that deeply.
On the other hand, Smucker's actually uses a bit of real sugar instead of just the cheaper processed crap.
27th February 2008 at 6:26 am | permalink |Actually, it was quite funny as my coworkers also got a good laugh out of me having pb&j snot hanging out of my nose because of a blog post regarding jam… so, we all thank you ;-)
27th February 2008 at 2:24 pm | permalink |lol … well good then. :-) Glad I could be of service.
27th February 2008 at 3:01 pm | permalink |@omi That's awesome.
and i totally feel you on the jam.
11th March 2008 at 5:33 pm | permalink |