Feel free to stalk our every post with the f*cking c*nts RSS feed, subscribe to f-ckingc-nts.com by email, follow our new posts and random comments on Twitter, or become a fan on facebook. Go on. You know you want to! All the cool kids are doing it …So, I have this iPhone. I like [...]
Den Fujita, McDonald's Japanese President
"The reason Japanese people are so short and have yellow skins is because they have eaten nothing but fish and rice for two thousand years… if we eat McDonald's hamburgers and potatoes for a thousand years we will become taller, our skin become white and our hair blonde."Behind the Arches, the [...]
Smuckers Strawberry Jam
Smuckers strawberry jam lists "strawberries" as the first ingredient. Sounds nice, eh? But then the next three ingredients are (if I recall correctly), sugar, high fructose corn syrup and fructose. Why in heaven's name would they need THREE DIFFERENT KINDS of sugar? I'm betting it's because if they only used one kind of [...]
No shit.
Only they're not "logs" … they're "rustic wood accent tables". And they're available for only $199–$249, depending on whether you want the short (18") or tall (24") model. Both are 15–18" in diameter.
The natural lines of our reclaimed-wood stools are hewn from the trunks of Argentinian cypress trees that have died of natural causes. [...]
When the mood takes you and you start prancing round the room lets say…bowling - have you considered perhaps leaving the room, going outside, and actually going bowling? For fucks sake. [...]
“But we will get some exercise this way” I hear you say.
Really?
If you want some exercise go and run round a field, climb a [...]
Last weekend, in a pharmacy in a small town in Alaska, I saw a box of "eyelid wash".
EYELID wash
For FUCK'S sake!
So, I picked it up, thinking there might be some obscure disease that might necessitate such a product [added]… and there is! The eyelid wash people just forgot to mention it.[/added] Apparently it's good for [...]
Here I am, sitting at the local bar … and over there on the wall is a large embossed metal advertising sign for Mickey's beer. Or, rather, "Mickey's Fine Malt Liquor". And when I looked at it, I knew. I was no longer at a loss for a rant for today. In fact, I was [...]
